GET OUT

Poffy The Cucumber

… because a black mind is a terrible thing to waste. You know what they say: You’ll always remember your first time – with a black man. In a startling writer-director debut, Jordan Peele’s arm-gripping thriller GET OUT is a renaissance for the horror genre. But it won’t do shit for race relations. Chris is about to meet his girlfriend … Read More

JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA .5

Poffy The Cucumber

Peeking in Grandpa’s Back Door. A “Making Of” reel for BAD GRANDPA, BAD GRANDPA .5 is quite an interesting companion piece, filled with outtakes, interviews, behind the scenes footage and deleted scenes of Irving Zisman (Johnny Knoxville in oldguy makeup) creating socially-impure havoc. In a package more professionally presented than any of the previous JACKASS straight-to-video “extras” movies, BAD GRANDPA … Read More

JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA

Poffy The Cucumber

Old Fart, New Trousers. The JACKASS team bring one of their rabble-rousing characters from the TV show to the big screen: Grandpa Irving Zisman aka Johnny Knoxville in oldguy makeup. Tearing up civil society in hidden-camera anti-social fervor. As Jackass-based media goes, it’s the most cogent of the lot; as hidden camera media, Sacha Baron Cohen does it better. The … Read More

THE CROODS

Poffy The Cucumber

Crood. Rhymes with Good. Nicolas Cage is a caveman with a lowbrow attitude toward life and forward momentum, and in the animated comedy THE CROODS, Nicolas Cage is a caveman with a lowbrow attitude toward life and forward momentum. He’s Grug, pater to a prehistoric family, who is faced with the decision to adapt or die. It’s the process of … Read More

CYRUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Hell hath no fury like an Oedipal Complex scorned. Jonah Hill hasn’t been taking his Oedipal Complex pills! Don’t you hate it when the funniest parts are all in the trailers? ALL in the trailers. CYRUS is told in 1 minute and 30 seconds: Lonely John (John C. Reilly) meets fun chick Molly (Marisa Tomei) at a party; she is … Read More

THE SOLOIST

Poffy The Cucumber

Biting The Hand That Exploits You. When movies address the supposed nobility of humanity (a fiction created by humans) we’ve got to look past the uplifting orchestration to the deep background on what is actually being sold. With THE SOLOIST, we don’t have to look too deep. It’s the story of Los Angeles newspaper columnist Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr), … Read More

HAMLET 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Charming Blasphemy, Thy name is Sexy Jesus. Madness in great ones must not unwatch’d go. — Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act III, Scene I. It’s blasphemous and filthy and irreverent. And hilarious. HAMLET 2 is GREASE slipping on the banana peel of JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR; a ripping satire on “inspirational teacher” films of all stripes, from DANGEROUS MINDS to DEAD POET’S SOCIETY. … Read More

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

Poffy The Cucumber

Most fun you can have not having sex. Judd Apatow’s THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN has a premise which is utterly ridiculous, a story utterly preposterous and a cast utterly hilarious. Steve Carell is Andy, the eponymous 40-year-old virgin, enjoying his bachelorhood working at an electronics store by day, painting action figures and playing video games by night. After Andy’s … Read More

INTO THE WILD

Poffy The Cucumber

Northern Over-Exposure. The question will always be: Once you get INTO THE WILD, what do you do there? Of all the people to ask this pertinent, profound question – it is Vince Vaughn. From the book of the same name by Jon Krakauer (who also wrote Into Thin Air), Sean Penn directs Emile Hirsch as Christopher Johnson McCandless (Feb 1968 – … Read More

CAPOTE

Poffy The Cucumber

The movie about the book about the murders. CAPOTE, first of all, is not a biopic. It covers a short period in writer Truman Capote’s life when he immersed himself in his classic True Crime novel In Cold Blood, the first “non-fiction novel” of its kind. Published in 1965, this revolutionary book would make Capote the most famous writer in … Read More

BEING JOHN MALKOVICH

Poffy The Cucumber

The Importance of Being Malkovich. It’s about a puppeteer who finds a portal into the head of a real-life actor… No, it’s about an over-sexed, 105-year-old pirate who runs a company on the 7 ½ floor of a building who has found a way to live forever… No, it’s about a woman who realizes she is transsexual after having sex … Read More

THE INTERPRETER

Poffy The Cucumber

Lost In Translation. If you care about whether burnt-out political insurrectionists from fictitious African countries are assassinated or not, this slow-moving thriller is for you. Otherwise, you will watch THE INTERPRETER with one question dogging your suspension of disbelief: “How does a startlingly luminous beauty like Silvia Broome (Nicole Kidman) avoid being flirted with by every single male she comes … Read More