THE CONJURING

Poffy The Cucumber

Paradise by the Jump-Scare Light. If this movie didn’t have jump-scares, it wouldn’t have any scares at all. Clichéd Haunted Houses Monthly awarded THE CONJURING its highest honor: “Best Movie With A Middle-American Family Moving Into An Obvious Haunted House Where Murders Were Committed.” The movie was also given a plaque by the Organization For Jump-Scares And Orchestra Stabs, with … Read More

THE REAPING

Poffy The Cucumber

Reaping what you sow: Superstitious Stupidity. Hilary Swank seems to have no concept of bad or good movies – either her agent or advisors or herself have no integrity or simply no discernment between choice roles and duds – wild swings from the silly THE NEXT KARATE KID (1994), to the bravura BOYS DON’T CRY (1999), to the execrable ignorance … Read More