RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II

Poffy The Cucumber

Blood and Thunder or Thud and Blunder? Muscles and bullets and man-sweat. Big hair, big guns and big pecs. Americans rewriting history and Vietnamese so stereotyped it’s more racist than a Republican Tea Party rally. It’s RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II, the improbably named and impossibly bland sequel to the solid FIRST BLOOD. Sylvester Stallone returns as Johnny Rambo, the … Read More

PHILADELPHIA

Poffy The Cucumber

Lawyers cutting back door deals. Let’s face it – Tom Hanks probably caught AIDS at that BACHELOR PARTY. In PHILADELPHIA, Hanks is Andrew Beckett, a young gay lawyer (not pejoratively, as in “all lawyers are gay” – literally). His life is good; his law firm entrusts him with a primo case and brings him into the bigwig fold of Conservative … Read More

THE GOODS: LIVE HARD, SELL HARD

Poffy The Cucumber

Abused Cars. I have hair on my balls. And I sell cars. The end. — Don “The Goods” Ready. Slick, smarmy and sweaty-balled, THE GOODS is the bastard child of USED CARS and GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS. Don “The Goods” Ready (Jeremy Piven) is a freelance super-salesman (his business card simply says, “Don Ready. I move cars, Motherfucker”) who is called … Read More

AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY

Poffy The Cucumber

Swinging! Like a man, man! He’s the sexiest, swingingest secret agent ever to combat evil – DOCTOR Evil, that is…. mwohahaha ha ha ha….He’s Austin Powers, arguably Mike Myers’s greatest, most memorable, most embraced, most quoted icon – in the film that made it all shagadelic, baby! AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY is a hip skewering of the spy … Read More