BULLET TO THE HEAD

Poffy The Cucumber

Bullets On The Brain. BULLET TO THE HEAD is Sylvester Stallone in Gritty Tragic Mode, an old-school hitman named Jimmy Bonomo, whose partner is killed by a mercenary after what should have been a regulation whacking. On the other side of the tracks, a cop’s partner is killed by the same merc in what should also have been a regulation … Read More

FERNGULLY: THE LAST RAINFOREST

Poffy The Cucumber

Fairies Wear Boots. A corporation is logging the Australian Ferngully rainforest – and the fairies don’t like it! So… conserving rainforests is not to preserve the complex ecosystem and therefore the delicate balance of life on Earth itself. No – it’s so FAIRIES will have a place to live. The film is dedicated to: “Our Children and Our Childrens’ Children.” … Read More

TRUE ROMANCE

Poffy The Cucumber

Delicious Vicious, Frantic Romantic. A brazen thug-fest, played like an adventure story for boys. Tony Scott (TOP GUN, DAYS OF THUNDER) directs TRUE ROMANCE, but it’s got Quentin Tarantino‘s stank all over it – delicious dialogue juggled with vicious gun play. Though Tarantino is listed only as “writer,” TRUE ROMANCE seems to be the middle child of what could be … Read More

DOLAN’S CADILLAC

Poffy The Cucumber

The mind of Stephen King is a terrible thing to waste. The director of DOLAN’S CADILLAC, Jeff Beesley, was told by his agent, “If you can’t knock this movie outta the park, you might as well forget it – go back to pumping gas.” Uh, Jeff, I got some bad news…. From a Stephen King short story of the same … Read More

3000 MILES TO GRACELAND

Poffy The Cucumber

Another Nail In The King’s Coffin. Obvious from the outset that this Clambake would be a shameless Hollywood glam-scam, wise men say only fools rush in – and Kurt Russell, the best Elvis of all time (well, uh, besides the real one…) – gets himself into Double Trouble by donning this cape. A-uh-huh. Poster, slogan and title of 3000 MILES … Read More