KICK-ASS 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Kicks it up a Cerebral Notch. No matter that KICK-ASS 2 loses the precocious and comedic tone of its predecessor (KICK-ASS, 2010), it remains a scathing exposé on the real world consequences of superheroing in a world that is more evil and twisted than any comic universe can comprehend. The violence is graphic, the swearing is viciously funny, the colors … Read More

THE CROODS

Poffy The Cucumber

Crood. Rhymes with Good. Nicolas Cage is a caveman with a lowbrow attitude toward life and forward momentum, and in the animated comedy THE CROODS, Nicolas Cage is a caveman with a lowbrow attitude toward life and forward momentum. He’s Grug, pater to a prehistoric family, who is faced with the decision to adapt or die. It’s the process of … Read More

A THOUSAND WORDS

Poffy The Cucumber

Nine-hundred and ninety words too long. A THOUSAND WORDS just needs four words to describe it: Writing: good. Movie: average. Eddie Murphy stars as big mouth literary agent Jack McCall, whose encounter with guru Dr. Sinja (Cliff Curtis) leads to a Bodhi tree magically springing up in his backyard, which loses a leaf for every word that Jack speaks. He … Read More

KICK-ASS

Poffy The Cucumber

Cuddly Carnage. “Okay, you cunts. Let’s see what you can do now!” Call me damaged goods, but I’m in love with Hit-Girl. And if her challenge above is how we approach every moviegoing experience, the moment 11-year-old Chloe Grace Moretz (as Hit-Girl) utters that taunt, the movie proves itself an irreverent, unrepentant, ruthless runaway rocket. In my pants. Based on … Read More

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE

Poffy The Cucumber

Dive in, the water’s awesome. You might consider me ready to join my mandrill brothers on the deep side of crazy for recommending a movie with a title so obviously geared towards acutely-angled foreheads. But you would be wronger than a deep fryer bank machine. HOT TUB TIME MACHINE is the stupidest movie you will see all year. And the … Read More