THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

Poffy The Cucumber

The Most Tedious Story Ever Told. Oh God! THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD is so far up its own arse that Satan called the filmmakers and thanked them for turning so many people off Christianity. While choirs of angels provide the soundtrack, God speaks through Jesus Christ, his only begotten son whom he sent to Earth to take away the … Read More

CASABLANCA

Poffy The Cucumber

We’ll Always Have Overacting. Leonard Maltin calls CASABLANCA “The best Hollywood movie of all time”; it won the 1943 Best Picture Oscar; voted #2 film of all time by the American Film Institute; Roger Ebert effuses, “Casablanca is THE movie”; it boasts one of the most regal Hollywood stars in Ingrid Bergman (in the movie that would catapult her to … Read More

THE LOST WORLD 1960

Poffy The Cucumber

Stay Lost. Dinosaurs! Uh, no, just komodos and iguanas with horns and spikes duct-taped to them…. Didn’t matter when you were ten. And THE LOST WORLD (the second film adaptation of Arthur Conan Doyle’s 1912 novel) is definitely FOR ten-year-olds, seemingly made BY ten-year-olds. Been decades since I read the book, but screenwriter-director Irwin Allen takes Conan Doyle’s exciting meat … Read More

MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON

Poffy The Cucumber

Pure as the driven ho. Politicians are whores. This we know to be fact. So what makes anyone think the idealistic Mr. Smith in MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON would not buckle at the knees and subscribe to the corruption inherent in the system, were his career drawn out long enough? Alan Grayson, the real life Democratic Florida senator in … Read More