Oh Han, where did you Kessel Run to? What we do in life – echoes in eternity. — Russell Crowe as Maximus, GLADIATOR Just how did Han Solo come by his beloved Millennium Falcon? (He told us in Episode IV he won it gambling.) And how did he get his trusty blaster? (Uh, I guess he either bought it, stole … Read More
THE DILEMMA
Bromantic comedy with a medieval aftertaste. No one knows the right thing to do – especially not director Ron Howard (THE DA VINCI CODE) – when a man sees his best friend’s wife secretly having an affair, in the half-comedy, half-drama, all-indecisive THE DILEMMA. Ronny (Vince Vaughn) is paired with Beth (Jennifer Connelly) and Nick (Kevin James) is married to … Read More
BARB WIRE
Livin’ Large on Marketable Melons. Her paps are centers of delight, Her breasts are orbs of heavenly frame. –Thomas Lodge, Rosalynde. If you’ve seen CASABLANCA, you don’t want to watch BARB WIRE. It will bring the pain – knowing that resting on that classic movie’s shoulders, are this movie’s breasts. Pamela Anderson-Lee, bountiful BAYWATCH überbim, stars as the titular secret … Read More
APOLLO 13
The Greatest Successful Failure of all Time. O, swear not by the moon, the fickle moon, the inconstant moon… — Shakespeare, “Romeo and Juliet.” As I watch Ron Howard‘s APOLLO 13, I smell that familiar kerosene funk in the air: solid rocket boosters firing, RP-1 propellant and liquid hydrogen surging, flux capacitor giga-watting – yes, it’s the Tom Hanks Oscar-Machine … Read More
HOUSE OF THE DEAD
Laid up and drugged out, as a kidney stone wended its merry way through my scarred urinary tract, with ab-so-lute-ly nothing better to do than let the painkillers swoon me into semi-oblivion, I happened to catch this movie on cable. I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I paid to view it in a cinema, or rented it, or – … Read More