FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

Poffy The Cucumber

Fifty Shades of Vanilla. A porn movie for chicks. Which means it’s not really porn, and barely even registers as erotic. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY is supposedly about a dominant-submissive relationship. But it’s what a dominant-submissive relationship looks like to someone who knows nothing about dominant-submissive relationships. Mr. Grey (Jamie Dornan) is a young, good-looking billionaire (only a few bicep-curls … Read More

BLACK MASS

Poffy The Cucumber

In the Name of da Fahder, da Son, and da Hollywood Spirit… The thing is… you’ve got the wrong Bad Guy. BLACK MASS is supposedly a tale about “the most violent criminal South Boston has ever known.” But when all the slogans say this, they’re looking at James “Whitey” Bulger. Even whilst adding that Bulger worked hand-in-glove with the corrupt … Read More

SNL 40

Poffy The Cucumber

Celebrating 40 Years of Stunning Mediocrity. The American comedy institution SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE continues its tradition of not being funny, by throwing a 40th Anniversary Special and not being funny. SNL 40 is not only Not Funny, it’s embarrassing, pathetic and painful. Why do these people put themselves through this? Why do they put US through this? Why do audiences … Read More