BRICK MANSIONS

Poffy The Cucumber

Brick-headed, flat-footed, Paul Walkered. Here we go again. Another plodding American remake of a blast furnace European film. BRICK MANSIONS is from 2004’s BANLIEUE 13 (aka DISTRICT 13), a jet-paced French actioner that starred Parkour inventor David Belle, weaving his unique free-running abilities into the fabric of the gunmetal plot. BRICK MANSIONS stars Paul Walker, and it weaves his unique … Read More

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THE FAMILY

Poffy The Cucumber

Familiar Famiglia. An American mobster in the Witness Protection Program is plopped into the midst of a bucolic French village with his wife and two kids. Cue fish out of water tale, where the fish is a piranha. THE FAMILY stars Robert DeNiro as Giovanni Manzoni aka Fred Blake, a mafia don who has ratted on his crime syndicate and … Read More

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DISTRICT 13: ULTIMATUM

Poffy The Cucumber

We’ll Always Have Banlieue. Paris is burning. And only Parkour can save it. DISTRICT 13: ULTIMATUM is the high octane sequel to the atomic blast of DISTRICT 13 (2004). Like its predecessor, a guilty pleasure, full of the same running and jumping and skipping and flower arranging. At the conclusion of DISTRICT 13, undercover cop Damien (Cyril Raffaelli) united with … Read More

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DISTRICT 13

Poffy The Cucumber

Run, jump, drive, shoot. Foot to the face. Popcorn. Jackie Chan and THE TRANSPORTER had an ADHD baby that spoke French. And it was called DISTRICT 13. An ex-crim and an undercover cop team up to go deep into the bowels of a toxic, walled-off district to retrieve a neutron bomb from the local crime lord, who is aiming it … Read More

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