THE HAUNTING 1999

Poffy The Cucumber

The terror of bad direction, editing and acting. Not to be confused with THE HAUNTING OF HELL HOUSE, released in the same year, THE HAUNTING is the tiresome, overlong, yawnfest remake of the 1960 movie of the same name. The only reason it’s terrifying is that it illustrates how low the bar for horror movies has sunk. Dr. Marrow (Liam … Read More

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THE WOLFMAN 2010

Poffy The Cucumber

Loopy Lupine. THE WOLFMAN starts as a remake of the classic 1941 Lon Chaney Jr. film THE WOLF MAN, and ends somewhere between BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON. That ain’t so bad, but not what it was aiming for. Director Joe Johnston (JURASSIC PARK III, HIDALGO) pays homage to the horror pioneers by including all the … Read More

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THIRTEEN DAYS

Poffy The Cucumber

Immovable Force meets Unstoppable Accent. For, in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breathe the same air. We all cherish our children’s future. And we are all mortal. — John F. Kennedy, address to the nation, June 1963 after the Cuban Missile Crisis. The people were real, the crisis … Read More

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