MALICIOUS 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

Para-psychosis, para-demons and para-actors. After a miscarriage, a woman and her husband have visions of that dead baby daughter, who appears to them at various ages, with malicious intent. MALICIOUS follows young couple Adam (blank-faced Josh Stewart) and heavily-pregnant Lisa (glorious Bojana Novakovic) as they move into their new home in the country (capacious and multi-storied, with a lack of … Read More

UP

Poffy The Cucumber

Two Thumbs UP. The madmen at Pixar once again prove themselves the best storytellers on the planet. Or off it. UP is a unique animated adventure that follows crusty retiree Carl (voiced by Ed Asner) on his adventures in trying to float his house with thousands of balloons to his dream locale. Another humbling display of Pixar’s incredible grasp of … Read More

MALCOLM X

Poffy The Cucumber

Malcolm in the Shizzle. Before MLK, Before O, there was – X. MALCOLM X – a black brimstone messiah excoriating the white devil. Denzel Washington is Malcolm Little (whom everyone calls “Red” for his conked red hair), a petty thief, cocaine addict, prostitute peddler, dynamite swing dancer, and all-round small-time gangsta before the term was invented. During the World War … Read More

RANSOM

Poffy The Cucumber

Blow me the money. Mel Gibson is billionaire airline owner Tom Mullen, whose son gets kidnapped in RANSOM. Rather than play to the kidnappers’ ransom demands, Mullen’s status allows him to go on national TV to offer the 2-million dollars ransom money as reward for any info on his son’s kidnappers – the ransom money becomes bounty money! Serpentine Gary … Read More

THE CORE

Poffy The Cucumber

Anthropocentric Spin. I want to hurt this movie. Like it hurt me. THE CORE opens with a Peter Gallagher clone sans Eyebrows dropping dead at a board meeting – so begins a series of events that establish the Earth’s core has inexplicably stopped spinning, causing electromagnetic anomalies. So scientists must drill down and re-start the spin with The Universal Solvent … Read More

THE LAST CASTLE

Poffy The Cucumber

Farcical Castle. THE LAST CASTLE was a good movie…until it got stupid. Then it was a stupid movie… until it got pillow-fartingly ridiculous. A military prison. Warden: Tony Soprano. New inmate: highly respected and profusely-decorated 3-star general Robert Redford. Theme: Battle Theorist (Tony, who sports a collection of battle memorabilia, weapons, literature) versus Battle Veteran (Redford, whose field credits include … Read More