GROWN UPS 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Would you like a little movie to go with your pee jokes? Rob Schneider isn’t here. Nonetheless, GROWN UPS 2 is still worse than its predecessor. It starts with a pee joke, then a tit joke, then a shit joke, then another pee joke, then a combination burp-sneeze-fart trifecta douchefecta. You couldn’t make a movie this bad if you were … Read More

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THE BENCHWARMERS

Poffy The Cucumber

Man-ginas Assemble! Question: How retarded do you have to be to enjoy THE BENCHWARMERS? Answer: Pretty fuckin’ retarded. When Rob Schneider is the best thing in your movie, you’ve got a problem. And when Rob Schneider is actually good in your movie, you really have to wonder at how bad everything else is to make this actor’s excuse for a … Read More

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JUST GO WITH IT

Poffy The Cucumber

Going for mangina. And succeeding. Well played, Mr. Sandler! He’s a bachelor wooing a younger girl with the lie that he will soon be divorced, and getting Jennifer Aniston to JUST GO WITH IT and pose as his ex to aid the ruse. It’s dumb as hell, but Sandler plays it very, very cool. (Don’t tell anyone, but I laughed … Read More

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GROWN UPS

Poffy The Cucumber

Groan Ups. This movie should be spanked on its botty and sent to bed with no supper. Written by Adam Sandler and longtime collaborator Fred Wolf, directed by longtime Sandler director, Dennis Dugan, GROWN UPS stars Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade and tiresome tool Rob Schneider. Now I ask you: with the wealth of filmmaking experience in the … Read More

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YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Political Palestinian-Israeli Zionist Hairdresser Sex Comedy. YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN messes with our brains. Because it’s actually funny. Messing with our preconceptions that Adam Sandler is a mindless jerk, writers Sandler, Robert Smigel and the great Judd Apatow give us ridiculous piled on absurd and nipple-pinched by insane. And thankfully, mediocre director Dennis Dugan (his imdb directorial ratings … Read More

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I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY

Poffy The Cucumber

Totally not gay. Chuck (Adam Sandler) and Larry (Kevin James) are two straight firemen who pretend to be gay married partners for the sake of insurance benefits for Larry’s kids, that would otherwise be lost due to Larry being a widower. Roundabout way of arriving at a stupid premise, brought about by a law so stupid, you just want to … Read More

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BIG DADDY

Poffy The Cucumber

Daddy Stupidest. Raising a kid is easy! Especially if you’re a shiftless imbecile with no talent, goals, ambition or responsibility. Cue Adam Sandler. Playing Sonny Koufax in BIG DADDY as only Sandler can (somewhere between mildly retarded and idiot savant), raising an abandoned five-year-old, Julian (played by Cole Sprouse and Dylan Sprouse), Sonny’s parenting methods involve lots of newspaper and … Read More

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