INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Poffy The Cucumber

Gloriously Bastardly. Quentin Tarantino loves cinema. Even the characters in his movies talk cinema. And the ones who aren’t talking cinema still seem to realize they’re in a damn fine piece of it. And the major plot point of Tarantino’s latest cinematic masterpiece, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, revolves around the screening of a movie! Tarantino knows cinema so intimately, he smashes a … Read More

Spread the love

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS

Poffy The Cucumber

I’m going to take a Treasure Bath! For all its contrived clue-solving and annoying coincidences and tiresome car chases, and even Nicolas Cage‘s mourning face, NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS is a lot of fun. Maybe producer Jerry Bruckheimer had something to do with the fact we can hardly take a breath before the next relentless action sequence derived from … Read More

Spread the love

NATIONAL TREASURE

Poffy The Cucumber

Precious Little. NATIONAL TREASURE is an old-fashioned treasure hunt, amped with modern technological idiocy, salted with a snide dig at the political laziness of the American people coupled with a sly j’accuse at their insuperably asinine government. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (a characteristically mourning-faced Nicolas Cage, as the descendant of the descendant twice-removed of whatever) must steal the original Declaration … Read More

Spread the love

TROY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Achilliad. All bronzed bicep, leonine mane and CG soldiery, TROY is a glut-fest of regal posturing and battle-flavored man-stench. Coax golden-skinned, Bally-gymed Brad Pitt into a taut-buttocked mini-skirt for your movie, and Homer’s Iliad be damned. Compressing the backstory of the ten-year siege of Troy into one week, all deities, dogma and details are eschewed for ant-battles between computer … Read More

Spread the love