X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Poffy The Cucumber

Homo superior, Bromo superior. How annoyed am I? Pretty damn annoyed! Annoyed that this is such a fantastic movie. Based on such a fantastic lie! To have the brass balls to call your movie X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (implying the team featured in Marvel Comics X-Men #1, published 1963) and then to cram your movie with second class X-Men is the … Read More

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CRANK

Poffy The Cucumber

Crank-y. Super stylish. Super amped. Super shallow. Still, any movie that opens with Quiet Riot’s Bang Your Head scarring the soundtrack can’t be all that bad. And writer-directors Mark Neveldine’s and Brian Taylor’s CRANK isn’t all that bad. It isn’t all that good either. A hitman, Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), has been injected with The Beijing Cocktail, a substance that … Read More

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