28 DAYS

Poffy The Cucumber

Alco-bollocks Anonymous. Hey, Alcoholics, Do you really want to be portrayed this way? Not only having to go through the physical pain of withdrawal, the humiliation of prostrating yourself in front of snide voyeurs, the loss of income, respect and friendship, now you also have to endure 28 DAYS representing your rehabilitation as kindergarten for grownups with mental disorders. So, … Read More

THE DOCTOR

Poffy The Cucumber

Sufferin’ Surgeons! Many times THE DOCTOR crouches about to pounce on intrinsic deficiencies beclouding medical bureaucracy, then shies away at almost every opportunity. Imperious and detached doctor MacKee (the remarkable William Hurt) is diagnosed with cancer and is somehow thrown in amongst the rabble (i.e. average hospital patients) instead of being given preferential treatment for being a surgeon. Amongst the … Read More

MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET 1994

Poffy The Cucumber

A Muddle-Headed Miracle. WARNING TO DIABETICS: The syrup content of MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET is so high that the surgeon general advises not to watch it, for danger of inducing diabetic neuropathy and gastroparesis. Les Mayfield (ENCINO MAN) directs this remake of the 1947 “classic,” about a Coles store Santa who claims to be “Kris Kringle” (Richard Attenborough), and is … Read More