OPEN WATER 2: ADRIFT

Poffy The Cucumber

Sea Legs in the second act. Breezed past OPEN WATER 2: ADRIFT on cable one night and stopped to watch the trainwreck, thinking, “this might be good for a laugh”… However, after the tiresome first act, ADRIFT gets surprisingly good. Surprisingly fast. To be fair, you must know some things going into this movie. It was originally called simply ADRIFT, … Read More

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MARLEY AND ME

Poffy The Cucumber

The Pursuit of Crappyness. In the insensate family comedy, MARLEY & ME, a young couple (Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston) buy a labrador puppy that we know the film wants us to regard as mischievous, lovable, cute, but which is, in reality, retarded, for when it grows to adulthood, it still has not learned one shred of discipline and cannot … Read More

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X-MEN: THE LAST STAND

Poffy The Cucumber

X-eunt in X-asperation. Action without heart. Spectacle without logic. Brawn without brains. Director Brett Ratner balances on Bryan Singer’s shoulders, attempting to hold up the mutant world Singer so reverently rendered in X-MEN (2000) and X-MEN UNITED (2003). But he falls off – and helms X-MEN: THE LAST STAND, the third in the x-franchise, with as much reverence and talent … Read More

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