RUN ALL NIGHT

Poffy The Cucumber

When street cred meets father figure. RUN ALL NIGHT is the gritty twat-eating hardass badboy movie Liam Neeson makes when he’s not making other gritty twat-eating hardass badboy movies. The difference between this and his other gritty twat-eating hardass badboy movies – is its heart. For a movie most concerned with shooting and running and trying to impress us with … Read More

HOURS

Poffy The Cucumber

A Role of a Lifetime, at the end of a lifetime. Paul Walker Hollywood Star becomes Paul Walker Actor in literally the last film of his cut-short career. Thankfully, it doesn’t affect his three-day growth. When Hurricane Katrina cuts the power to an evacuated hospital, a father must keep his newborn daughter alive on a ventilator for 48 hours while … Read More

THE LAST STAND

Poffy The Cucumber

Arnold’s Back! And he’s… uh, just a guy. He conquered Thulsa Doom, hunted down a Predator and terminated Terminators. Now, Arnold Schwarzenegger faces his greatest foe – a Spanish guy in a sports car. In THE LAST STAND, Arnold is affable Sheriff Bloaty who runs the bucolic town Last Stop Before Freedom with a neighborly pat on the behind. It’s … Read More

IDENTITY THIEF

Poffy The Cucumber

Almost as bad as being defrauded. Hello, I am Nigerian Prince and I would like to inform you of the necessity to send me your account details, so that I may warn that IDENTITY THIEF will steal two hours of your wretched life. Please to send your bank account just now for processing this timely request. Jason Bateman and Melissa … Read More