AFTERMATH 2017

Poffy The Cucumber

Misery as Entertainment. When you think about it, practically all movies are “misery as entertainment,” but most have some form of redemption, deliverance, or happy ending to look forward to. AFTERMATH is one of the bleakest slices of life you will ever see: the story of an architect who loses his family in a mid-air collision, due to a distracted … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

GODZILLA 1998

Poffy The Cucumber

Milli Godzilli. Godzilla takes a bite out of The Big Apple. And Ferris Bueller is there to stop him. After Japan’s Toho Company killed off its greatest property in 1995’s GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH, TriStar Pictures sought to fill the vacuum with its own American Godzilla that would blow the Japanese version out of the water, by utilizing state-of-the-art CGI visual … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

MONEYBALL

Poffy The Cucumber

When Statistics Became Sexy. Brad Pitt ends MONEYBALL with, “How can you not be romantic about baseball?” which is ironic, because he just spent the whole movie deconstructing The Great American Pastime’s romanticism with “sabermetrics” (a clinical mathematical process that focuses purely on statistics to choose players), wheeling and dealing at the highest levels of the baseball industry with wrath-of-God … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

THE CRAZIES 2010

Poffy The Cucumber

Crazy like a pox. Remake of the 1973 George A. Romero movie of the same name, THE CRAZIES is a simple, shallow, well-made thriller. A virus drives the people of a bucolic Midwestern town crazy and they start killing people. I don’t mean to nitpick, but killing is kinda natural for a species that kills to eat, to mate, to … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS

Poffy The Cucumber

The Film That Stares Into Space. Your tax dollars at work. A few years ago, I read about the U.S. military exploring “paranormal combat techniques” in George W. Bush’s Fake War On Terror: using goats as test subjects, the Amerikan Military were trying to train soldiers to kill terrorists by staring at them to psychically stop their hearts. No, it’s … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Poffy The Cucumber

Homo superior, Bromo superior. How annoyed am I? Pretty damn annoyed! Annoyed that this is such a fantastic movie. Based on such a fantastic lie! To have the brass balls to call your movie X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (implying the team featured in Marvel Comics X-Men #1, published 1963) and then to cram your movie with second class X-Men is the … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

BLOOD WORK

Poffy The Cucumber

Anemic Harry. If Dirty Harry was a heart transplant patient. In BLOOD WORK, Clint Eastwood is FBI detective Terry McCaleb, who suffers a heart attack chasing down a thief. Forced to retire after a heart transplant operation, he is approached by the transplant donor’s sister, Graciella (Wanda De Jesús) who tells him his donor was a murder victim. She wants … Read More

Spread the love
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •