HERCULES IN NEW YORK

Poffy The Cucumber

Fish Out Of Austria. Demi-god Hercules visits New York for a lark. And it’s extremely funny. If you’re seven. Before the world discovered his Herculean physique in the muscle-doc PUMPING IRON (1977), and long before his breakout role as an “actor” in CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982), Austrian-born bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger somehow convinced American agents, managers, casting agencies and filmmakers to … Read More

HERCULES UNCHAINED

Poffy The Cucumber

Hercules Delectes Peripheres. Steve Reeves walks around looking gorgeous, and a Hercules movie is going on ‘round here somewhere. Like Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, or Bruce Willis as John McClane, Steve Reeves as Hercules inhabits his role so perfectly that his magnetic presence alone is enough to see HERCULES UNCHAINED to its conclusion, whether we … Read More

HERCULES 1958

Poffy The Cucumber

Body of Herc. Before Schwarzenegger, before Ferrigno, before Stallone, Van Damme, The Rock and Wolverine, there was the first movie muscleman. Mr. America (1947), Mr. World (1948), and Mr. Universe (1948, 1950), mighty Steve Reeves stars as the original and best HERCULES. HERCULES, an Italian production directed and co-written by Pietro Francisci, combines The Labors of Hercules with The Voyage … Read More

THE LOVES OF HERCULES

Poffy The Cucumber

The Pussywhipping Of Hercules. Jayne Mansfield’s canned-ham breasts seduce Mickey Hargitay’s petite skirt and oiled pecs in THE LOVES OF HERCULES. In the long history of Italian Hercules films, Mickey Hargitay boldly douses himself with cooking oil and lifts things that are kinda heavy, replacing arguably one of the best proponents of the demi-god, Steve Reeves (last seen in HERCULES … Read More

THE LEGEND OF HERCULES

Poffy The Cucumber

Homer meets Chippendale’s. The movie 300 had rough dungeon sex with GLADIATOR and they had a dim-witted child called THE LEGEND OF HERCULES. Kellan Lutz (TWILIGHT saga) co-stars with his expressionless face as Hercules, the son of Zeus and a mortal woman, who would become a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an empire—wait, uh… … Read More

HERCULES 2014

Poffy The Cucumber

GOOD-liness over GOD-liness. Well, at least he looks the part! Dwayne Johnson brings his extraordinary muscles and ordinary acting abilities to the role of Greek demigod HERCULES, as envisioned by tormented writer Steve Moore and thunderstorm artist Admira Wijaya (Radical Comics, 2009) and de-envisioned by novice screenwriters Ryan Condal and Evan Spiliotpoulos, and Michael Bay Lite director, Brett Ratner. HERCULES … Read More