CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

Poffy The Cucumber

Captain America: Bromance War. Captain America versus Iron Man in a battle to the bromosexual. When The Avengers try to stop a terrorist from killing civilians, and end up killing civilians themselves, the United Nations steps in and calls a halt to their devastating pearbottoms. General Ross (William Hurt, playing a character from Hulk lore, in this movie where the … Read More

REAL STEEL

Poffy The Cucumber

Steel with Real Feel. I can’t tell if this is massively retarded, or ultra cool. wtf. –YouTube comment. I’m going to officially declare this movie hella enjoyable. It may not be the Oscar-muncher of the year, but it’s definitely the most fun. And is it coincidence or mild irony that Wolverine is the star of a movie called REAL STEEL? … Read More

THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP

Poffy The Cucumber

Blair and Bubba: A Love Story. All political friendship is strategic and conditional. — Tony Blair advisor. A touching bromance between two heads of state. The Special Relationship refers to that unspoken sexual tension between America and any other country that needs to suckle at her black milk teat so she won’t crush them like Hulk crushes puny humans. THE … Read More

THE HOAX

Poffy The Cucumber

The Barbaric Yawp of the Lunatic Fringe. In 1970, author Clifford Irving fooled all of the people some of the time when he produced the autobiography of one of the world’s most intriguing recluses, Howard Hughes. Like all great hoaxes, it eventually served him better than the truth. And like all movies “based on true stories,” we approach cautiously where … Read More

THE IMPOSTORS

Poffy The Cucumber

The Genuine Article. After his magnificent, offbeat BIG NIGHT, writer-director Stanley Tucci reunites that movie’s cast (including Tony Shalhoub, Isabella Rossellini, Alison Janney, Campbell Scott, Oliver Platt, to name a few) in another offbeat triumph. Intentionally played as an hommage to slapstick and farce, THE IMPOSTORS finds two over-zealous, out-of-work actors, Arthur and Maurice (Tucci and Platt) offending an overrated … Read More