VIRUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Inhuman Immunodeficiency Virus. I feel like vomiting and I’m getting a headache and maybe even diarrhea. I’ve either got a virus. Or I’ve just watched the movie of the same name. But here’s the twist. VIRUS isn’t about some little animalcules that infect your blood and make your nose run. It’s about an alien entity that uses electricity for energy … Read More

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CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS

Poffy The Cucumber

Dreaming of a Fight Christmas. CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS is about selfishness, viciousness, hypocrisy and homogeneity – you know, the true spirit of Christmas. From a John Grisham novel, Skipping Christmas (which I presume is as compelling as his other books – and therefore nowhere near as asinine as this movie), KRANKS is about middle-aged upper-class couple Luther and Nora … Read More

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HALLOWEEN

Poffy The Cucumber

Carving Teen on Halloween. Arguably the first Senseless Knife-Kill flick; arguably the first “serial murder” movie mislabeled as “horror”; arguably the only movie to ever use a Captain Kirk mask to scare people. Intentionally rather than accidentally.HALLOWEEN is historical; like FRIDAY THE 13TH and a handful of seminal horror movies that spawned an unstoppable tide of sequels, it has entered … Read More

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TRUE LIES

Poffy The Cucumber

Brawny Bond. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s back – in yet another extremely silly, extremely enjoyable comedy-actioner, TRUE LIES, as superspy Harry Tasker, who leads the double life of a Bond-ish field agent and a suburban family man, his wife, Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis), and daughter (Eliza Dushku) oblivious to his “real” job, thinking he is a boring computer consultant. James Cameron writes … Read More

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