THE DIRT – is a load of CRAP! Maybe a quarter of it happened, and not like this… — Logan, LOGAN. THE DIRT opens with a title card: “This story is true.” Fuck off. In this paean to rock band Mötley Crüe (remember when umlauts made everything evil?), every detail, every anecdote, every song and character and drug-fueled escapade is … Read More
JACKASS 3.5
Turds making turds. During the “Flaming Gauntlet” stunt in JACKASS 3.5, I realized that none of the stunts that Johnny Knoxville’s neurologically disordered brood perform are meant to succeed. The stunts have no training behind them, no practice, no Plan B; the brood enter into these stunts with their brains on standby and their balls braced for impact. In this … Read More
JACKASS 3D
Diary of a Douchebag. Johnny Knoxville leads his troupe of professional sado-masochists through another array of idiotic stunts in JACKASS 3D, that I’m guessing is for the purpose of: a) getting themselves killed; b) satisfying their torture-porn kink; c) touching each others’ balls. “Professional” because these guys are somehow getting paid to perform these stupid, elaborate stunts, and “sado-masochists” because … Read More
JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA .5
Peeking in Grandpa’s Back Door. A “Making Of” reel for BAD GRANDPA, BAD GRANDPA .5 is quite an interesting companion piece, filled with outtakes, interviews, behind the scenes footage and deleted scenes of Irving Zisman (Johnny Knoxville in oldguy makeup) creating socially-impure havoc. In a package more professionally presented than any of the previous JACKASS straight-to-video “extras” movies, BAD GRANDPA … Read More
JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA
Old Fart, New Trousers. The JACKASS team bring one of their rabble-rousing characters from the TV show to the big screen: Grandpa Irving Zisman aka Johnny Knoxville in oldguy makeup. Tearing up civil society in hidden-camera anti-social fervor. As Jackass-based media goes, it’s the most cogent of the lot; as hidden camera media, Sacha Baron Cohen does it better. The … Read More
JACKASS 2.5
See what idiots with movie contracts are capable of – not much. Okay, at this stage, someone really needs to stop me beating the shit out of Johnny Knoxville for this lame excuse of a polished turd he calls a “movie.” Trouble is, he’d enjoy it. Knoxville (the “brains” behind JACKASS) and director Jeff Tremaine (JACKASS: THE MOVIE, JACKASS NUMBER … Read More
JACKASS NUMBER TWO
More Jockstraps, More Beer. Johnny Knoxville and his crew of masochists do more stupid stuff which hurts them badly and could get them killed – and film it. Number Two in name, number two in nature. But of course, they meant it that way. And that’s what scares me… JACKASS NUMBER TWO is so funny and so unnecessary that I’m … Read More
JACKASS: THE MOVIE
Jockstraps and Beer. If human civilization is to retain any semblance of forward momentum, never let our children see JACKASS: THE MOVIE. Matter of fact, once you’ve seen it yourself, burn your copy and wash your genitals. With a bravado that most of us relinquish at age twelve, Johnny Knoxville and his near-equals in brain-deficiency offer innumerable hideously-filmed vignettes of … Read More