FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

Poffy The Cucumber

Fifty Shades of Vanilla. A porn movie for chicks. Which means it’s not really porn, and barely even registers as erotic. FIFTY SHADES OF GREY is supposedly about a dominant-submissive relationship. But it’s what a dominant-submissive relationship looks like to someone who knows nothing about dominant-submissive relationships. Mr. Grey (Jamie Dornan) is a young, good-looking billionaire (only a few bicep-curls … Read More

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ROBOCOP 2014

Poffy The Cucumber

Being more Man than Machine? There’s an app for that… A cop transformed into a cyborg fights for control of his free will over the corporation that controls his unthinking, emotionless mind. Uh, so it’s about ALL cops then? No, only ones who behave like ROBOCOP. Oh, so it’s about ALL cops then?… 2028 Detroit. When Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) … Read More

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THE KING’S SPEECH

Poffy The Cucumber

A Royale with cheese. So the British Royals are ordained by God, eh? God moving in yet another mysterious way by “blessing” King George VI with a chronic stammer… Ergo, no God – or God’s an asshole. THE KING’S SPEECH is a fascinating insight into a non-publicized corner of English Royal history, revealing a sordid truth deeper than the question … Read More

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