SAVING PRIVATE RYAN

Poffy The Cucumber

A Spielberg fantasy done horribly right. What if the United States Military actually possessed a shred of decency and humanity? Shyeh! What if. In SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, the people who type the “Sorry Your Son’s Dead” letters for the Warmongers Who Send Sons Off To Die notice that three letters are addressed to the Ryan family of Anytown USA. Seems … Read More

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SECRETARY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Love That Dares Speak Its Name. I like the little way the line runs up the back of the stockings… — David Lee Roth, “Everybody Wants Some.” BONDAGE: Her neck cuffed with a steel horizontal bar, her arms cuffed outstretched to that bar, in crucifixion position – while performing office duties. DISCIPLINE: Lean her over the desk and spank … Read More

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RAVENOUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Tasty! Guy Pearce is beefcake. No – literally. Pearce is Captain John Boyd, an American soldier in the 1847 Mexican-American war, transferred to a desolate outpost harboring a troop of military misfits, one of whom is discovered to be a cannibal. Jeffrey Jones is Colonel Hart, leader of this band of stir crazy soldiers, which includes Jeremy Davies, David Arquette … Read More

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