Poffy The Cucumber

SUPERSTAR falters, as Legend lacks. Poor John Legend! He’s a great soulful rhythm and blues vocalist, a great composer, a great performer; he’s won Oscars, Grammys, Golden Globes and Tonys; he’s a friend to the last great American president, Barack Obama, and he was instrumental in bringing a whole generation to that inspiring 2008 election. He’s a producer, actor and … Read More


Poffy The Cucumber

The Cramming Chronicle. He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy! — MONTY PYTHON’S THE LIFE OF BRIAN. And yea, 6,000 years ago, God did create the Earth. It took him two days, for he was a lazy god. And lo, Adam and Eve did eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge in the Garden of Eden, … Read More


Poffy The Cucumber

Another reboot for the best-looking zombie in history. Someone, somewhere in the world, is seeing their first Jesus movie. Some 8-year-old, indoctrinated in Christian idiocy, is seeing for the first time those fantasy stories brought to life in this 2014 reboot of Christianity’s original superhero. Therefore, though there will be a multitude of followers/believers inspired by this film to Love … Read More

CALL ME GOD (and I’ll still respect you in the morning)

Jon Dunmore

      What if God was one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on a bus?… — Joan Osborne, “One of Us.” emme get this straight: if you discovered God was a knock-kneed, sunken-chested, bus-traveling sex-pervert, you people – you forgiving christians – would still worship him? Your first indignant objection is, “Why … Read More


Poffy The Cucumber

Jesus: The Man, The Myth, The Model. KING OF KINGS is the definitive Catholic document: not really religious, not really holy, not really accurate. Just the way Catholics like it. This movie did for Jesus what Richard Burton did for Roman accents. Being raised in a Catholic household and inculcated to believe that my every living act should be aimed … Read More


Poffy The Cucumber

Nails It. A rockgasmic Judas-eye view of the last days of Christ. Directed by Norman Jewison (FIDDLER ON THE ROOF) and powered by the mountain-leveling throats of Ted Neeley (Jesus) and Carl Anderson (Judas), JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR is as reverent as it is blasphemous, as bombastic as it is humble, as god as it is zilla. Written by the inimitable … Read More