WHEN THEY SEE US

Poffy The Cucumber

When They See Us… they still won’t give a fuck. WHEN THEY SEE US is a mini-series dramatization of the 1989 “Central Park Five” case, where five young boys were wrongfully convicted and incarcerated for the rape of a jogger in New York’s Central Park. In 2001, the real rapist confessed, precipitating the release of the Five, and their convictions … Read More

JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Baba Yaga Reloaded. Keanu Reeves once again finds himself the linchpin of a career-defining movie series. He’s the laconic, eponymous anti-hero in JOHN WICK: CHAPTER TWO, a movie whose story is built around its innovative combat scenes. In this sequel to 2014’s JOHN WICK, Wick must fulfill an obligation to a colleague, or risk never being able to leave his … Read More

JOHN WICK

Poffy The Cucumber

Baba Yaga’s Excellent Adventure. Keanu Reeves hasn’t had to act this little since he was Klaatu. Keanu is retired legendary hitman JOHN WICK, who informally comes out of retirement for revenge on the men who killed his puppy – the last gift from his dead wife. (I’m not an animal person, but I gotta admit – that is one cutie … Read More

SISTERS 2015

Poffy The Cucumber

The BACHELOR PARTY of ladydom. Two adult SISTERS, Kate (Tina Fey) and Maura (Amy Poehler), throw one last party in their childhood home before their parents sell it. One sister needs to prove she is responsible. One needs to get laid. The party gets out of hand soon enough. WAY out of hand. Which make the party scenes reminiscent of … Read More

KICK-ASS 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Kicks it up a Cerebral Notch. No matter that KICK-ASS 2 loses the precocious and comedic tone of its predecessor (KICK-ASS, 2010), it remains a scathing exposé on the real world consequences of superheroing in a world that is more evil and twisted than any comic universe can comprehend. The violence is graphic, the swearing is viciously funny, the colors … Read More

DIE HARD 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Die Lamer. John McClane against terrorists at Dulles International in Washington DC. DIE HARD at an airport! That was the pitch. It sounded better on paper. In DIE HARD 2, Bruce Willis returns in High Smug as New York cop John McClane, in Washington to meet his wife (Bonnie Bedelia) flying in. Why? Who cares? Writers Steven E. de Souza … Read More

ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS

Poffy The Cucumber

On its merry way to extinction… Part road movie, part dinosaur actioner, and fully gushing with family values, ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS is the third and most spectacular in the ICE AGE series – and probably the least interesting. If you’re not as tired of these characters as I am, you’ll enjoy Manny the Mammoth (Ray Romano), Sid … Read More

RIGHTEOUS KILL

Poffy The Cucumber

Righteous Swill. Dream cast, nightmare script. What a shameless waste of Acting’s two elder statesmen. RIGHTEOUS KILL re-unites Robert de Niro and Al Pacino as two New York cops on the trail of a killer who is wiping out the city’s vilest criminals. The plot of MAGNUM FORCE resurrected, except in this movie, it’s Dirty Harry without the Dirty. Or … Read More

THE HAPPENING

Poffy The Cucumber

Nothing Happening. M. Night Shyamalan is a film-making genius. Okay, that’s outa the way, now to THE HAPPENING – one of M. Night Shyamalan’s best comedies. (Because if you don’t laugh at Zooey Deschanel’s “indicating” method of “acting” you must attend the same inept acting classes she does.) In M. Night Shyamalan’s latest producer-writer-director effort, people of the U.S. Eastern … Read More

ROMEO AND JULIET 1996

Poffy The Cucumber

More Comedie Than Tragedie. All I’m saying is: Leonardo DiCaprio should stop being prettier than his female co-stars. In ROMEO + JULIET, snub-nosed Claire Danes bravely steps up to out-femme Leo’s manly prettiness. And fails. Leonardo is Romeo (kinda archly poetic, no?) and Claire is his Juliet. Shakespeare‘s retelling of Ovid’s Pyramus and Thisbe is retold with creative conceptualizing and … Read More