CONAN THE BARBARIAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Save a Barbaric Yawp for me. CONAN THE BARBARIAN opens with a Nietzsche title card: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” Oh, so it’s a focus on the philosophical struggle of mankind. Well, actually it’s more a focus on the “kill” and “stronger” bits. For an action-adventure fantasy epic, CONAN THE BARBARIAN sure is painfully slow, padded … Read More

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DIRTY HARRY

Poffy The Cucumber

Justice is DIRTY. You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk? — Harry Callahan, DIRTY HARRY. And a screen icon is scarred onto the face of filmdom. And the Earth is once again salted with the man-nectar of masculinity. DIRTY HARRY is about a cop who takes the law into his own hands. … Read More

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JAWS

Poffy The Cucumber

A Whale of a Tale. Da… dun… Da-dun… Dun-dun Dun-dun Dun-dun Dun-dun Dun-dun – toodle-oooo (those are the French horns)… When Steven Spielberg first heard John Williams‘s simple, ominous JAWS theme, he apparently thought it was a joke. Now who’s laughing? They just don’t make ’em like this anymore. Matter of fact, even this film’s director, Mr. Household-Name himself, Steven … Read More

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