ANGEL AND THE BADMAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Virgin and the Whipped Man. ANGEL AND THE BADMAN is a John Wayne western made for another era. The world’s cultural shifts since 1947 render this movie not only dated but naïve past the point of Puritan. Its message of violence begetting violence is, of course, eternal, though its solution of peace begetting peace is undermined by the plot itself … Read More

THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD

Poffy The Cucumber

The Most Tedious Story Ever Told. Oh God! THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD is so far up its own arse that Satan called the filmmakers and thanked them for turning so many people off Christianity. While choirs of angels provide the soundtrack, God speaks through Jesus Christ, his only begotten son whom he sent to Earth to take away the … Read More

THE LONGEST DAY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Longest Fey. A German soldier tells his commander “Some sort of rubber dummies have been dropped by parachute!” – and he wasn’t talking about the Americans. THE LONGEST DAY has the distinction of revealing many interesting World War II tactics even to jaded modern, post-RYAN audiences. Such as the British dropping 3-foot-high dummies as night decoys, made to shoot … Read More

TRUE GRIT

Poffy The Cucumber

Flight of The Rooster. No one should go to the movies unless they believe in heroes. — John Wayne. Ironic that John Wayne should talk of heroes when his most iconic role, that of Rooster Cogburn in TRUE GRIT, is anti-hero, taking The Duke beyond his safety zone of pure-hearted, white-hatted, virginal good guy-ism and into the dark realm of … Read More

SANDS OF IWO JIMA

Poffy The Cucumber

Jingo All The Way. John Wayne drawls his way through yet another war movie where thirty-something teenagers with clean shirts and Christian mouths storm battlegrounds where they die operatically from bullets that don’t make exit wounds; powerful enough in its day to be regarded a “classic,” SANDS OF IWO JIMA elevated Wayne from studio standard to worldwide megastar. But it’s … Read More