THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE

Poffy The Cucumber

Angry Birds so Roundy Roundy. A flock of flightless birds on an isolated island has their eggs stolen by a group of pigs. The birds angrily get their eggs back before the pigs can make an omelet. Shakespeare this ain’t. THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE is the animated cartoon based on the “most downloaded freemium game series of all time,” Angry … Read More

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JOBS

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Dude, Where’s My Computer? An uninspiring movie about an inspiring innovator, JOBS is a schmaltzy biopic of Apple Computer’s pioneering founder and edge-of-science-fiction visionary, Steven Paul Jobs (1955-2011). JOBS (written by Matt Whiteley and directed by Joshua Michael Stern) turns the life of this driven inventor madman thinking machine into a soppy three-act melodrama that hits all the requisite Hollywood … Read More

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THANKS FOR SHARING

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I’m Too Sexy For My Therapy. Sex addiction – is that even a thing? Isn’t that something that guys just say as an excuse when they get caught cheating? — Gwyneth Paltrow, THANKS FOR SHARING. A man is only as faithful as his options. — Anonymous (or Chris Rock, or Gene Simmons) SHAME meets FLIGHT in this glossy Hollywood Fantasy … Read More

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THE ROCKER

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Bohemian Crapsody. Ooh, look out, you rock and rollers! Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older. — David Bowie, Changes. Even though THE ROCKER is about a middle-aged rock drummer who sees a second stab at fame with his young nephew’s band, it is mostly for nerds who need to get laid by pretending to be rock stars. Rainn Wilson, … Read More

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21

Poffy The Cucumber

Counting to Dumb. In this vacuous drama supposedly based on a true story, Old Hand (Kevin Spacey) teaches Teen Models (Kate Bosworth, Aaron Yoo, Liza Lapira, Jacob Pitts) to count cards and take on Vegas. Happens that Old Hand is college professor Micky Rosa, and his Teen Models are his students at Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Boston. I don’t … Read More

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