ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS

Poffy The Cucumber

Stumbling drunkenly. Tiresome sequel to an iconic movie. ARTHUR 2: ON THE ROCKS is, like its title, uh… Dudley Moore returns as Arthur Bach, the millionaire who loves a tipple at all hours of the day. He’s not an alcoholic, he’s a drunk. He’s still lovable, but just barely, and his hijinks are producing in those around him television sitcom … Read More

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REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

Poffy The Cucumber

The Road To Nowhere leads straight through Suburbia… Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. — Henry David Thoreau. Leo and Kate–together again! For those emotionally trigger-happy TITANIC fans who thought REVOLUTIONARY ROAD would be a reteaming of their favorite star-crossed lovers to recapture lachrymose memories (like the manipulative … Read More

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THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL 2008

Poffy The Cucumber

The Day Keanu’s Face Muscles Stood Still. Keanu Reeves elevates his One Facial Expression Method to new levels of expressionlessness in this wooden remake of the 1951 film. Though excellent concepts are broached in both THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL films (1951 and 2008 versions), both films are ruined by their gutless denouements, failing to follow through on their … Read More

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TITANIC

Poffy The Cucumber

The King Of The World meets The Bitch Of The Sea. Let’s get one thing straight before we embark on this perilous journey into Hollywood History: the only “truth” in this movie is that the RMS Titanic did sink in April 1912 and that Leonardo DiCaprio is prettier than Kate Winslet. Everything else in James Cameron’s TITANIC is marshmallow fancy. … Read More

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