Spectacular Effects vs. Brainless Script. If you came for the monster fights, you died and went to daikaiju heaven; but if you came for anything else – characterization, story, dramatic arcs – and you left disappointed, well I know how old you are – over 12. Sometimes I WISH I could disconnect my brain and enjoy polished turds like GODZILLA … Read More
SON OF KONG
Throwing out the baby with the floodwater. SON OF KONG trades on one outstanding moment that will haunt you forever. Trouble is, it takes five-thousand swishy B-movie moments to arrive there. The moment which almost erases all the shoddy filmmaking that comes before it, is in the film’s heart-breaking climax, when the Son of Kong desperately raises Denham above his … Read More
KONG: SKULL ISLAND
Ape-ocalypse Now… Reboot. Gorilla style. In a cold open, two pilots – an American and Japanese – crash-land on a deserted Pacific island. It is 1944. They try to kill each other, in a foot chase that leads to a mountain ledge. As they grapple, something… YUGE… rises from below. A gorilla! No, not just a gorilla – a GORIL-LIL-LIL-LIL-LA! … Read More
KING KONG LIVES
If by “Lives” you mean “Dies.” King Kong dies in more ways than one. Dying is easy, making rubber suits look authentic is hard. Emboldened, we presume, by the cult status of the GODZILLA franchise, the De Laurentiis Entertainment Group suits up an American actor in an ape suit for KING KONG LIVES, a direct sequel to KING KONG 1976. … Read More
KING KONG VS. GODZILLA
King Kong versus King Of The Monsters in a battle to the meh! It’s Halloween. One of your idiot friends is in an ape costume walking around upright like a human, not making the slightest attempt to emulate an ape, and another idiot friend is dressed as an alligator and his long tail has knocked over the snacks table more … Read More