THE POWER OF THE DOG

Poffy The Cucumber

Dog of a film. A meandering story with no throughlines, no payoffs and no plot, that everyone says we have to love, because it’s gay. And that’s totally gay. THE POWER OF THE DOG is simply boring, pretentious, attempted art-cinema, for faux-sophisticates and LGBTQ to fawn over and tease out psychodrama and social messages. About a ranch-hand in 1925 Montana, … Read More

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DOLEMITE IS MY NAME

Poffy The Cucumber

Black Wiseau. DOLEMITE IS MY NAME is a comeback film for Eddie Murphy? That’s a well-deserved question mark! As its filmmakers whine about being snubbed at the 2020 Oscars, they neglect to mention they’ve made a formulaic film about a conman with questionable product that deserves attention only as a novelty. As a historical figure, the flamboyant Rudy Ray Moore … Read More

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DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES

Poffy The Cucumber

This is the Dawning of the Age of A-Hairy-Ass… How embarrassing! Conquered by people who don’t wear pants. DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES starts exactly where RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (2011) left off, with a killer virus spreading via a world map, extinguishing the human species except for a few pockets of immunes. 8 years … Read More

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THE ROAD

Poffy The Cucumber

A Tale of No Cities. In a post-holocaust world, a father and son fend for survival, staying on the move for food, shelter, and the endless quest for a MAD MAX Trilogy Boxed Set. “In a moment the world changed forever.” More of an exposition than a slogan. It gets us on THE ROAD without having to explain why. We … Read More

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