STAR WARS: EPISODE VIII – THE LAST JEDI

Poffy The Cucumber

This is not going to go the way you think! Writer-director Rian Johnson grabs the STAR WARS universe by the midi-chlorians and shakes until you scream Uncle Owen! If ROGUE ONE was a love letter to the Original Trilogy, then THE LAST JEDI is the Dear John letter to J.J. Abrams. Johnson takes such liberties with the concepts and themes … Read More

THE FOUNDER 2016

Poffy The Cucumber

The Ham-Burglar. THE FOUNDER, the story of how Ray Kroc stole the McDonald’s brand out from under its actual founders and turned it into the biggest fast food chain on the globe, is simultaneously inspiring and horrifying – like a meal from McDonald’s. Written by Robert Siegel (based on the amazing true story) and directed like a lean burger by … Read More

THE MASTER

Poffy The Cucumber

MASTER-ful. Actor’s Actor + Actor’s Actor = Actors Actors Actors Actors. Joaquin Phoenix meets Philip Seymour Hoffman and all Asgard and Midgard tremble in their Acting wake. Freddie Quell (Phoenix) is a rudderless veteran returning from WWII, who stumbles upon the yacht of Lancaster Dodd (Hoffman), a “minister” for The Cause, one of those pseudo-scientific cults that likes to pretend … Read More

JURASSIC PARK III

Poffy The Cucumber

Excitement replaced by Excrement. After Charles Darwin, Richard Owen, Louis Leakey, E.O. Wilson, Stephen Jay Gould, Richard Dawkins, Robert Bakker, Jack Horner and thousands of other anthropologists and paleontologists whose names we shall sadly never know, broke their backs formulating the knowledge that allowed us to comprehend evolution and the Dinosauria… JURASSIC PARK III takes those decades of learning – … Read More

RECOUNT

Poffy The Cucumber

Stealing the World with Hanging Chad. Those who vote decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything. – Josef Stalin. RECOUNT is another nail in the “democracy” coffin. Even for those who detest politics, this movie unfolds like a thriller rather than a dusty legal doc. Surely no one in Amerika believes the lie of “One Man One Vote”? … Read More

JURASSIC PARK

Poffy The Cucumber

Dino Mighty. DINOSAURS! No, not “unbelievable” and “incredible” – on the contrary, director Steven Spielberg and his special effects team do such a mighty job recreating extinct saurians that they are altogether BELIEVABLE and CREDIBLE! Spielberg is the visionary who brought us JAWS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND and RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK – JURASSIC PARK is his … Read More

A PERFECT WORLD

Poffy The Cucumber

A Perfect Vision of an Imperfect World. Nature versus nurture. Fathers versus sons. Justice versus The Law. T-bones versus tater tots.The power of Clint Eastwood’s films has always come from Eastwood’s bravado in addressing moral ambiguity. (Even his death-dealing avenger films – the DOLLAR trilogy, JOSEY WALES, the DIRTY HARRY series, etc. – are so powerful not because of his … Read More