THE BYE BYE MAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Horror? Buh-bye. Don’t say it. Don’t think it. Say what? THE BYE BYE MAN. D’oh! The more you think about him, the closer he gets. You see things that aren’t there. You don’t see things that are there. He makes you kill people. Or kill yourself. Or something else might kill you. So, basically, just whatever then… “And you die … Read More

AQUAMAN 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

Will make you wet. AQUAMAN graduates to jewel of the DC Comics universe, as it finds a perfect mix of action, humor, sex and surf. An American screenwriter’s dream come true, for its fishy foreshadowing and porpoiseful payoffs (couldn’t resist!); an origin story and a high sea adventure, an undersea war and a touching family redemption. It’s got everything, from … Read More

INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 3

Poffy The Cucumber

Back to the Further. I saw a man that was choking there, I guess he couldn’t breathe… — Alice Cooper, “The Ballad Of Dwight Fry.” Old lady wanders around in darkness. Gets startled by people trying to kill her. Is this INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 3 or a visit to Granny’s? Quinn (Stefanie Scott) is a sweet, smooth teen whose mother has … Read More

INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 2

Poffy The Cucumber

In-Silly-ous. Taking for granted the world has seen INSIDIOUS, writer Leigh Whannell and co-writer/director James Wan drop us into INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 2 like step-children being dropped off in the woods to fend for ourselves or die. If you haven’t seen INSIDIOUS, you’re in for a treat of characters you don’t know appearing in places you never saw doing things you … Read More

INSIDIOUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Not Normally this Para. Uh-oh. I need to turn on the lights… INSIDIOUS is one of the few modern horror films that is truly scary. Not many movies can hold your nerves hostage like THE EXORCIST or THE OMEN, but INSIDIOUS comes close, with atmospheric direction, blood-chilling sequences and lots of screeching violins. A family with three kids moves into … Read More

LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA’HOOLE

Poffy The Cucumber

Owling at the Moon. LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA’HOOLE is epic and poignant and majestic and cute in all the right owly ways. Young forest owl Soren (voice of Jim Sturgess) is a dreamer, infatuated with mythical tales of the Guardians – ancient owls who defend owly honor throughout the land. His older brother Kludd (Ryan Kwanten) … Read More

SAW II

Poffy The Cucumber

Seen it once, SAW it again… The opening scene of SAW II is as compelling and horrifying as anything you will ever see as a human being with pain receptors: A man wakes in a dungeon with an open bear trap locked around his neck, lined with nails. It is on a timer to snap shut on his head, but … Read More

SAW

Poffy The Cucumber

To Die For. It’s all about the story, innit? SAW dives into its second act in its first minute: Two men in a subterranean TRAINSPOTTING bathroom, chained by their ankles to steel pipes at opposite ends of the room. A dead man lies in a pool of blood on the floor; in his hands, a gun and microcassette player. The … Read More