300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE

Poffy The Cucumber

300: Rise of the Swoll. As Zack Snyder’s 300 covered the thrilling land battle of Sparta against Persia, Noam Murro’s 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE covers the concurrent sea battle. The boring sea battle. Oh, it still looks amazing, with the same ochre tint and album-cover pizzazz as Snyder’s epic, with that same filmic technique that lovingly embraces the crystalline … Read More

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THE PURGE

Poffy The Cucumber

Knife-kill disguised as social commentary. Blessed be the New Founding Fathers for letting us Purge and cleanse our souls. Blessed be America, a nation reborn. — opening titles, THE PURGE. It is 2022 in America. The country is doing well, if the opening titles are any indication: unemployment at 1%, crime at an all-time low. And there is one night … Read More

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IMAGINE ME AND YOU

Poffy The Cucumber

Love at First Dyke. He loves her, but she loves… her. Following on the heels of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (Sep 2005) and TRANSAMERICA (Dec 2005) comes this syrupy, thoughtless, fad-awful debacle of lesbian love, IMAGINE ME AND YOU (the moanful title congruent with the lack of imagination displayed in the movie). Rachel (Piper Perabo) is married to Heck (Matthew Goode, bringing … Read More

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300

Poffy The Cucumber

Body-shaved for Glory. That reminds me, I need to hit the gym. Some say 300 is as violent as Mel Gibson’s APOCALYPTO, but it’s not. 300 elevates violence to a new level – violence as art. Sure, APOCALYPTO and other movies that push the envelope on graphic pain could be construed as “art” – but only in 300 is the … Read More

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