RIO 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Flocking dork and deceitful bitch road trip. Jesse Eisenberg has two speeds: superdork nebbish and fast-taking schemer. In RIO 2, he’s phoning it in as the former. Eisenberg returns as rare macaw parrot Blu, who is now married to his parrot love interest from RIO, Jewel (voice of Anne Hathaway), so there is a noticeable lack of the romantic frisson … Read More

VACATION

Poffy The Cucumber

A Vacation from Comedy. First, there was NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION (1983), which pitted unfunny douche Chevy Chase against an unforgiving holiday road. Now, 32 years later, that iconic non-comedy can at last be remade, because there is somebody entirely as unfunny as Chevy Chase to pass the torch to – Ed Helms. Not exactly a remake or a reboot, VACATION … Read More

MR. PEABODY AND SHERMAN

Poffy The Cucumber

A Dogsbody and his Peaboy. Thrilling adventures, comical characters and excellent animation, coupled with careless mixed messages, makes MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN a bittersweet doggie biscuit. Mr. Peabody (voiced by Ty Burrell, THE SKELETON TWINS) is a Harvard graduate, an inventor, gourmand, athlete, virtuoso musician, licensed chiropractor, fencer, a Nobel Prize winner, a socialite, and advisor to heads of state … Read More

THIS IS 40

Poffy The Cucumber

This is Soporific. Writer-director Judd Apatow’s “sorta sequel to KNOCKED UP” is sorta not as good as KNOCKED UP. THIS IS 40 shows us how boringly randomly arbitrarily mundane and unnecessarily complex life over 40 becomes. Like anyone under 40 will care, and like anyone over 40 will care less. Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann (Apatow’s real life wife) play … Read More

RIO

Poffy The Cucumber

Rio de Generic. Named RIO, one would expect a flashy, exuberant, carnivale dance-a-vale rainbow spectacle. One would be wrong. Rather, an uninvolving tale of a rare blue macaw and his intended mate on the run from poachers, while his owner and her soon-to-be mate try to track them down. Cue seen-it-a-million-times face. Jesse Eisenberg voices Blu the parrot, abandoned at … Read More

THE CHANGE-UP

Poffy The Cucumber

Another change-up, another plage-up. How many times have we seen this movie? THE CHANGE-UP is the latest mystical body-switching movie from the venal plagiarists in the Hollywood Cookie Cutter Industrial Complex who have the audacity to call themselves writers. At least it’s funny. Mitch (Ryan Reynolds) and Dave (Jason Bateman) are best friends but lead diametrically opposite lifestyles – Mitch … Read More

17 AGAIN

Poffy The Cucumber

Teens and geeks and MILFs. Oh my! I’ve just gone teen-gay for Zac Efron! Before they send the teen-gay patrol to check my temperature with an anal thermometer, I have to add that 17 AGAIN (starring Efron) is a very stupid movie; not deliberately stupid like ACE VENTURA or BALLS OF FURY, but unwatchably stupid, like MONSTER-IN-LAW or GHOSTS OF … Read More

FUNNY PEOPLE

Poffy The Cucumber

Apatow’s Magnum Scrotus. High comedy, intense drama, and lots and lots of dick jokes. FUNNY PEOPLE is the best movie Adam Sandler has ever made. Because it’s a Judd Apatow movie. In it, he offers us his vulnerable “human” character (as he did in SPANGLISH, REIGN OVER ME), not his insufferable, jutting-jawed imbecile (BILLY MADISON, THE WATERBOY), or his “pretend … Read More

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

Poffy The Cucumber

Most fun you can have not having sex. Judd Apatow’s THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN has a premise which is utterly ridiculous, a story utterly preposterous and a cast utterly hilarious. Steve Carell is Andy, the eponymous 40-year-old virgin, enjoying his bachelorhood working at an electronics store by day, painting action figures and playing video games by night. After Andy’s … Read More

KNOCKED UP

Poffy The Cucumber

Stretchmark Benchmark. Marriage is an institution. And you have to be crazy to be in an institution. — Gene Simmons. One could say KNOCKED UP is writer-director Judd Apatow’s baby – and as malformed as the rest of his hobgoblin brood. Seth Rogen is Ben, a shiftless layabout (rooming with a menagerie of oafs: Jason Segel, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, … Read More

BIG DADDY

Poffy The Cucumber

Daddy Stupidest. Raising a kid is easy! Especially if you’re a shiftless imbecile with no talent, goals, ambition or responsibility. Cue Adam Sandler. Playing Sonny Koufax in BIG DADDY as only Sandler can (somewhere between mildly retarded and idiot savant), raising an abandoned five-year-old, Julian (played by Cole Sprouse and Dylan Sprouse), Sonny’s parenting methods involve lots of newspaper and … Read More

THE CABLE GUY

Poffy The Cucumber

Cable for Nothin’ and your Guilt for Free. “Chip Douglas” (Jim Carrey) is a cable installation guy who gives Steven Kovacs (Matthew Broderick) free cable extras, then psychopathically wields that favor to progress their buddy-ship. An above-average dark comedy, jealously maligned – for the wrong reasons. Incorrectly marketed, burdened by the speculation regarding the largest actor’s salary in the world … Read More