INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 3

Poffy The Cucumber

Back to the Further. I saw a man that was choking there, I guess he couldn’t breathe… — Alice Cooper, “The Ballad Of Dwight Fry.” Old lady wanders around in darkness. Gets startled by people trying to kill her. Is this INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 3 or a visit to Granny’s? Quinn (Stefanie Scott) is a sweet, smooth teen whose mother has … Read More

SNAKES ON A PLANE

Poffy The Cucumber

Reptile Dysfunction. A young motocross rider witnesses a mob murder in Hawaii and is scooped up by the FBI to testify in Los Angeles. On the plane journey to the mainland, the mobster releases hundreds of SNAKES ON A PLANE to wipe out the witness. If this method seems a little hit-or-miss, expensive, inefficient and downright stupid, you’re absolutely right. … Read More

OUIJA

Poffy The Cucumber

Ouija: the bored game. Five teens try to contact their dead friend through a ouija board. And guess what? They do. OUIJA is needless jumpscares, hot teens and a mindless horror story. Hell, boys, we got ourselves some funding! Olivia Cooke is Laine, whose best friend Debbie (Shelley Hennig) hangs herself one night in a fit of uncharacteristic blondeness. Having … Read More

THE SIGNAL

Poffy The Cucumber

Bending new boundaries with classic old tropes. Two young computer hackers discover a third hacker is sending them enigmatic messages. Chasing down the origin of THE SIGNAL will shatter their reality; will shatter even the concept of what reality is. THE SIGNAL is a dynamite sleeper; a spellbinding tale of extra-terrestrial communication in this modern age. There had to eventually … Read More

INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 2

Poffy The Cucumber

In-Silly-ous. Taking for granted the world has seen INSIDIOUS, writer Leigh Whannell and co-writer/director James Wan drop us into INSIDIOUS CHAPTER 2 like step-children being dropped off in the woods to fend for ourselves or die. If you haven’t seen INSIDIOUS, you’re in for a treat of characters you don’t know appearing in places you never saw doing things you … Read More

INSIDIOUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Not Normally this Para. Uh-oh. I need to turn on the lights… INSIDIOUS is one of the few modern horror films that is truly scary. Not many movies can hold your nerves hostage like THE EXORCIST or THE OMEN, but INSIDIOUS comes close, with atmospheric direction, blood-chilling sequences and lots of screeching violins. A family with three kids moves into … Read More

DETROIT ROCK CITY

Poffy The Cucumber

God of Blunder. “If you’re down in the dumps – and you need sumpin that’ll bring ya uuuuup… sumpin that’ll bring ya uuuuup?… There’s only one thing that’s gonna do it faw ya…” No, not this movie – go dig out your record player and spin Rock And Roll Over. Named after a classic KISS song (the marauding opener from … Read More