2 FAST 2 FURIOUS

Poffy The Cucumber

2 Fast 2 Bi-Curious. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS was so successful that Universal Pictures had to have a sequel, so they did the smart thing and threw out all the characters from the first movie and only kept the prettiest girl for the sequel, Paul Walker. (Actually, all the characters were asked to return, but Vin Diesel turned down … Read More

FAST & FURIOUS 7

Poffy The Cucumber

The Stupidous Furious. The FURIOUS franchise is TWILIGHT for men. — YouTube comment. Vin Diesel underacts his way through a car-slut thug-fest that loses focus in its last act because – Paul Walker. What do you think of when someone asks you NOT to think of Paul Walker? Answer: Paul Walker. This is the case in FURIOUS 7, where it … Read More

FAST FIVE

Poffy The Cucumber

America’s Fastest Crime Family. Detective Hobbs advises his team of cops on capturing Dom Toretto and his gang: “Above all else, we don’t ever, ever let them get into cars.” Is anyone hearing how this sounds? Uh, sir, are the cars magic? “No.” Well, uh, why can’t we just shoot them with rocket launchers if they get into cars? “Just … Read More

FAST & FURIOUS 6

Poffy The Cucumber

The Faster the Stupider. Even if the car-porn franchise FAST AND FURIOUS is not your cup of transmission oil, you’ve gotta admit, the movies are some of the best exponents of their gearhead genre. FAST & FURIOUS 6 reunites Dom Toretto’s gang of gearheads against a Euro mercenary intent on stealing some military McGuffin that would make it easier for … Read More

SNL 40

Poffy The Cucumber

Celebrating 40 Years of Stunning Mediocrity. The American comedy institution SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE continues its tradition of not being funny, by throwing a 40th Anniversary Special and not being funny. SNL 40 is not only Not Funny, it’s embarrassing, pathetic and painful. Why do these people put themselves through this? Why do they put US through this? Why do audiences … Read More