KEANU

Poffy The Cucumber

The Cat in the Black. Two average, suburban black guys are mistaken for a coupla hard, pipe-hittin’ niggas when they go deep into thugland searching for their stolen cat, named KEANU. At last – master sketch comedy duo Key & Peele (Keegan Michael-Key and Jordan Peele) have made the leap to feature film, like a lion pouncing on a zebra. … Read More

THE LAST STAND

Poffy The Cucumber

Arnold’s Back! And he’s… uh, just a guy. He conquered Thulsa Doom, hunted down a Predator and terminated Terminators. Now, Arnold Schwarzenegger faces his greatest foe – a Spanish guy in a sports car. In THE LAST STAND, Arnold is affable Sheriff Bloaty who runs the bucolic town Last Stop Before Freedom with a neighborly pat on the behind. It’s … Read More

ARTHUR 2011

Poffy The Cucumber

Lost between the Moon and New York City. The only way to enjoy ARTHUR (2011), the story of an alcoholic billionaire, is to be an alcoholic billionaire yourself. That way, your brain won’t sizzle with the fury of forced relinquishment of your tax dollars to thug corporate billionaires, who rewarded themselves for crashing the economy by giving themselves bonuses with … Read More

PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE

Poffy The Cucumber

Incredible movie of a non-credible story. PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE is not a movie. It is a tonal poem. Writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson (MAGNOLIA, 1999) paints in dire hues, onerous sound and shifty-eyed desperation. And he makes a Man out of Adam Sandler – an achievement in itself. Sandler is Barry Egan, a businessman whose company makes novelty toiletries. He’s not all … Read More

THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 2009

Poffy The Cucumber

Rocking the remake rails. An organized gang of criminals led by Ryder (John Travolta) takes hostage a New York subway train, and train dispatcher Walter Garber (Denzel Washington) must talk them down. Brian Helgeland screenwrites and Tony Scott (TOP GUN, TRUE ROMANCE, MAN ON FIRE) directs this remake of the 1974 film of the same name, THE TAKING OF PELHAM … Read More

CROCODILE DUNDEE II

Poffy The Cucumber

A Crock of Croc. The joke’s wearing a bit thin. Whereas CROCODILE DUNDEE introduced us to the strapping, vital, yet ingenuous Mick Dundee (Paul Hogan), CROCODILE DUNDEE II takes all that was good about the original and, like most sequels, ignores it. Instead – SCARFACE THE TV SHOW, with Hechter Ubarry as Rico (think “ball-less Tony Montana”) and Juan Fernandez … Read More