GLASS 2019

Poffy The Cucumber

GLASS shatters… expectations! It’s like – broken glass; You get cut before you see it, So open up your eyes!… — Ronnie James Dio, “Stand Up And Shout” Things don’t always turn out the way you want them to, chillun! Not even for superheroes… The three protagonists from two previous M. Night Shyamalan thrillers gravitate toward one another like atoms … Read More

SPLIT 2017

Poffy The Cucumber

Multiple McAvoy, Numinous Night. Professor X has been hearing those voices in his head again… If you like James McAvoy, then you’ll love SPLIT. It stars James McAvoy. And James McAvoy. And James McAvoy. And James McAvoy. And James McAvoy. And James McAvoy. And James McAvoy. Writer-director M. Night Shyamalan returns to form as master filmmaker with his deviously intriguing … Read More

THE VISIT 2015

Poffy The Cucumber

Don’t Get Old, Get Evil. Two young children visit their grandparents for the first time. And smell death. Uh, wait – that’s pretty normal. Two children visit their grandparents for the first time – and find soiled adult diapers! … Well, uh, still pretty normal. Two children visit their grandparents for the first time. And see vomiting and dementia. Still … Read More

UNBREAKABLE

Poffy The Cucumber

Irresponsible Force meets Unbreakable Object. Quentin Tarantino provided the best logline for M. Night Shyamalan‘s UNBREAKABLE. In his characteristically compelling storytelling way, he puts it – even better than the actual ad campaign – “What if Superman was here on Earth and didn’t know he was Superman?” That’s UNBREAKABLE broken down. If there is, in fact, a “super” gene, it … Read More

THE VILLAGE

Poffy The Cucumber

Mythed it by that much. Somewhere between expectancy and deliverance – lies M. Night Shyamalan‘s THE VILLAGE. The people of an Amish-styled village share an uneasy truce with the mysterious beasts that haunt the surrounding woods – until a blind girl courageously braves the woods on a mission of mercy. The people of Covington lead an idyllic Old World existence, … Read More

DEVIL

Poffy The Cucumber

Fun as sharp as pointy horns. Night done good. M. Night Shyamalan writes the story behind DEVIL, a well-directed, elegantly-screenplayed thriller, about five people trapped in a skyscraper elevator. One of them is the devil. (Bwohaha ha ha haaaaa!) There’s the sexy Euro Bond Villain (Logan Marshall-Green), Shirley Maclaine’s Evil Twin (Jenny O’Hara), McLovin’s dad (Geoffrey Arend), Parker Posey’s sexier … Read More

THE LAST AIRBENDER

Poffy The Cucumber

Bender me this, Bender! What is a Bender? the petulant anarchist Judd Nelson in THE BREAKFAST CLUB; the alcoholic, kleptomaniac robot in FUTURAMA; a homosexual man; getting stoned on alcohol or drugs for a sustained period of time; an exceptionally bad hockey player; a tumescent penis; a curveball; to shit oneself; a person who can affect the elements at will; … Read More

SIGNS

Poffy The Cucumber

Cream of the Crop Circles. SIGNS is a storytelling masterpiece from writer-director, M. Night Shyamalan; a master moviemaker’s layered mosaic of fear, faith, family – and alien invasion. Don’t let the “alien” thing throw you – like every Night thriller, SIGNS is not of the Running and Screaming stripe, rather, a beautifully crafted lesson in film “making”; creative angles, smart … Read More

THE HAPPENING

Poffy The Cucumber

Nothing Happening. M. Night Shyamalan is a film-making genius. Okay, that’s outa the way, now to THE HAPPENING – one of M. Night Shyamalan’s best comedies. (Because if you don’t laugh at Zooey Deschanel’s “indicating” method of “acting” you must attend the same inept acting classes she does.) In M. Night Shyamalan’s latest producer-writer-director effort, people of the U.S. Eastern … Read More

LADY IN THE WATER

Poffy The Cucumber

Part real. Part fable. All Night. In his book, On Directing Film, David Mamet says of movies, “it’s all make-believe. The question is, how good is the make-believe going to be?” M. Night Shyamalan‘s LADY IN THE WATER is truly what it sells itself as – a bedtime story; make-believe of the highest order, taken with a generous pinch of … Read More