GOLDENEYE

Poffy The Cucumber

Out with the smug. In with the smugger. The codes of a destructive satellite named GOLDENEYE have been stolen by Russian traitors working with a British traitor, Agent 006, who plans to use Goldeneye’s electromagnetic pulses to cause a global financial meltdown. James Bond must defeat the stronger agent, thwart the runaway satellite, and bang the Russian hotness. new bond: … Read More

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GREEN LANTERN

Poffy The Cucumber

Attack of the 50-foot foreheads. The main qualification for being a Green Lantern is to have No Fear. Oh, and a high forehead. What’s with all the giant foreheads in GREEN LANTERN? Ryan Reynolds is Green Lantern’s forehead – and I must say, the perfect visual representation of the DC Comics ring-bearer; the great Mark Strong (SHERLOCK HOLMES 2009) is … Read More

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EDGE OF DARKNESS

Poffy The Cucumber

Edge of Dorkness. What a stupid name for a movie! Did they think Steven Seagal was the lead? Notwithstanding yawnful “sinister” attempt at kickstarting Mouthy Mel’s comeback tour, EDGE OF DARKNESS might have been a powerful film, raising questions about unethical corporations and their impunity when backed by government, had it not copped out with a simplistic denouement, using bullets … Read More

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CASINO ROYALE 2006

Poffy The Cucumber

Old Spy, New World, Tight Arse. International espionage will never be the same. It is now certifiably MAN-HOT. new bond: craig, daniel craig Last seen in London baking a LAYER CAKE (2004) and again in MUNICH (2005) ineptly gunning for terrorists, hawk-eye intense Daniel Craig is now the once and future James Bond. “Re-imagining” has become a dirty word, but … Read More

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