TRUE CRIME

Poffy The Cucumber

The true crime is this movie’s shallowness. TRUE CRIME has the potential to be a powerful thought experiment, exploring the psychology behind the perception of what True Crime truly is. Aside from implicit racism, no real issues are broached in this dialog-driven Clint Eastwood actioner. From an Andrew Klaven novel, TRUE CRIME is merely the tale of a wrongly-convicted murderer … Read More

DEEP IMPACT

Poffy The Cucumber

Deep Hurting. DEEP IMPACT is one of those movies where you just know that at some point, someone is going to shout “Get the hell outa there!” long after it’s too late the get the hell outa there. Sure enough, someone does. Trouble is, that someone is The Legend Robert Duvall… oh, ye gods! Did he need the money that … Read More

1408

Poffy The Cucumber

GROUNDHOG DAY with supernatural teeth. Remember IDENTITY? It’s John Cusack trapped in a hotel again! And just like IDENTITY… It was a dark and stormy night. A car misses a turnoff, the driver reverses to see the hotel sign; turning down the side-street, he soon parks, runs across a picturesque bridge to a rustic hotel, sheltering himself from the tempest. … Read More

MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET 1994

Poffy The Cucumber

A Muddle-Headed Miracle. WARNING TO DIABETICS: The syrup content of MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET is so high that the surgeon general advises not to watch it, for danger of inducing diabetic neuropathy and gastroparesis. Les Mayfield (ENCINO MAN) directs this remake of the 1947 “classic,” about a Coles store Santa who claims to be “Kris Kringle” (Richard Attenborough), and is … Read More