Deus Ex Magica. Arbitrary magic. The last resort of bad storytelling. When Magic has no limits, when it works here but doesn’t work there, when it is employed as deus ex machina here, then forgotten there, just throw out the story and start again, because you’ve obviously written yourself into an illogical corner – and now you get to call … Read More
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
Illegal Money Never Sleeps. Leonardo DiCaprio overacts his way into the heart of Wall Street, into the pants of hookers and into federal jail. He’s playing a real life character, stockbroker Jordan Belfort, THE WOLF OF WALL STREET, whom I hope is at this moment dying a slow, horrible death from cancer of the knob… The problem with millionaires like … Read More
INTERSTELLAR
Odyssey Three: When Surfer Dudes Boldly Go… In his 2014 Oscar speech, Matthew McConaughey told us his hero was “himself, in ten years’ time.” Everyone thought he was a narcissistic jackass. Until INTERSTELLAR, when he travels to the future through a wrinkle in time and meets – himself! Standing lofty on the shoulders of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY and CONTACT, … Read More
MUD
Love hurts/stinks/uplifts: message clear as mud. His name is Mud. And his name is pretty much mud. And the movie is MUD. Now isn’t that convenient?! But MUD is not about Mud. He’s just a device to drive the story of young Ellis, who learns hard life lessons upon meeting him. Ellis is 16-year-old Tye Sheridan, and this movie belongs … Read More
MAGIC MIKE
Sweat, Flesh, Booze, Drugs, wife-swapping, dry humping, backstabbing… who wants breakfast? Don’t bullshit me! You came here to see Channing Tatum dance! You didn’t come to MAGIC MIKE to see the story of young loser Adam (Alex Pettyfer) who can’t hold a job to save his life, befriending stripper Magic Mike (Tater Tots Tatum), who smarms him a job at … Read More
GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST
Ghost of Dickens Past turns in his grave. Many filmmakers still feel obligated to pay homage to the marriage and reproduction rituals of the mainstream culture. — Keay Davidson, Carl Sagan, A Life. Men, when you’re dragged by your fem-boss like the vagina-whipped pussy you’ve become, to see GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST, at least take solace in the film’s educative … Read More
AMISTAD
Re-educating the slaves of perception. AMISTAD, one of the modern hammers to beat Whitey upside the head for his past, present and future racism. No metaphors, no allegories, no analogies – this is straight up, in-ya-face, naked mea culpa racism for all the world to be ashamed of. Director Steven Spielberg‘s powerful, insightful AMISTAD suffers from the usual problem associated with … Read More
TROPIC THUNDER
Bringing the Thunder. As gut-wrenching as APOCALYPSE, as heartfelt as RYAN, and as filthy as fuck, TROPIC THUNDER is another in the small oeuvre of Ben Stiller writer-director-actor comedies where Stiller goes “full retard” for maximum satirical jungle juice. Action movie juggernaut, Tugg Speedman (Stiller) and a platoon of spoiled-rotten actors (Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Brandon T. Jackson, Jay … Read More
CONTACT
Buried within The Message from Vega – The Message from Sagan. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND needed updating. CONTACT is that update. Though it may never attain the lofty heights of commercialism that CLOSE ENCOUNTERS enjoyed, CONTACT is, in fact, a more intelligent vision of extra-terrestrial communication with our outer-spiral-arm planet. Jodie Foster is SETI maverick, Ellie Arroway, who … Read More