FRANK 2014

Poffy The Cucumber

Good Head. Music, experimentation, death, disappointment, fear, surrogate family, unfulfillable longing. A musician’s life for me… FRANK, a quirky dramedy centering on an avant-garde rock band and its offbeat leader in particular, is – unlike many movies of its musical ilk – not about seeking success through stardom, but fulfillment through creation. We meet keyboardist Jon (Domhnall Gleeson), trying in … Read More

ALIEN: COVENANT

Poffy The Cucumber

In space, no one can hear you mandroid. Back in 1979, ALIEN was all about the Aliens. Now it’s about the mandroids. And no wonder. The resident mandroid in ALIEN: COVENANT is Michael Fassbender. And haven’t I always effused over Michael Fassbender’s magnetic onscreen presence? Unwittingly or not, he has become the focal point of the modern ALIEN saga. Since … Read More

X-MEN: APOCALYPSE

Poffy The Cucumber

Darwin: Resurrection In Blue. The all-powerful First Mutant called Apocalypse wakes from a 5,000-year hibernation, ready to spread democracy American style – which means doing everything HIS way. He enhances all mutants’ powers, he razes Auschwitz, he destroys all the world’s nuclear weapons, and he intends to wipe out homo sapiens. I don’t see a problem with any of this. … Read More

STEVE JOBS

Poffy The Cucumber

Nerd against Geek in a battle to the Steve. STEVE JOBS is a savage attack dog of a movie. Like Steve Jobs. Each scene slams into us like shrapnel: overlapping intelligent dialogue, fever pitch arguments, soul-breaking philosophies, walk-and-talk business decisions, with flashbacks as savage as the writing, smash-cut into the smallest interstices, rather than drawn-out exposition. After viewing STEVE JOBS, … Read More

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

Poffy The Cucumber

The Wolverine Show, Part VII. Wolverine goes back in time to unify the X-Men of the disco past to stop an event that brings into existence giant robots called Sentinels, who are systematically wiping out X-Men of the dystopian present. It’s a heart-gripping, tension-filled, magnificent, sprawling epic – that doesn’t make one lick of sense! X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST … Read More

A DANGEROUS METHOD

Poffy The Cucumber

A Lecherous Method. Ah yes, the hunt for puss. Isn’t that why we’re all here? To hunt or be hunted? Director David Cronenberg turns what could be a grand journey into the minds of two extraordinary psychoanalysts (Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud) into angling at puss. Ironically, that’s what the grand journey of these two minds arrived at – that … Read More

12 YEARS A SLAVE

Poffy The Cucumber

Twelve Thousand Years A Slave… and Counting… 12 YEARS A SLAVE is a great movie on its surface, is a horrible story when viewed in context of American history and is unspeakably terrifying when placed against the larger sociological canvas. I’ll explain all this in a moment if you’ll just stop fussing about the n-word… on the surface 12 YEARS … Read More

SHAME

Poffy The Cucumber

Pure sex, hold the shame. After watching SHAME, George Clooney joked to Michael Fassbender, “You could play golf with that thing!” Fassbender (X-MEN: FIRST CLASS) is Brandon: office guy, New York apartment, sex addict. He regularly hires prostitutes, masturbates at work in the toilet, picks up random flings and fucks them in alleys, owns a ton of porn magazines, and … Read More

PROMETHEUS

Poffy The Cucumber

PROMETHEUS Unbound. Shattering sound design, knife-edge visuals, a cerebral maelstrom of startling concepts that will trail you home like vagabond dogs… PROMETHEUS, like the Greek god it is named for, descends on your shoulders with the fire of knowledge and, like the deity’s act of perdition, will leave you curs-ed that your wish was ever granted. Ridley Scott‘s PROMETHEUS, like … Read More

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Poffy The Cucumber

Homo superior, Bromo superior. How annoyed am I? Pretty damn annoyed! Annoyed that this is such a fantastic movie. Based on such a fantastic lie! To have the brass balls to call your movie X-MEN: FIRST CLASS (implying the team featured in Marvel Comics X-Men #1, published 1963) and then to cram your movie with second class X-Men is the … Read More

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Poffy The Cucumber

Gloriously Bastardly. Quentin Tarantino loves cinema. Even the characters in his movies talk cinema. And the ones who aren’t talking cinema still seem to realize they’re in a damn fine piece of it. And the major plot point of Tarantino’s latest cinematic masterpiece, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, revolves around the screening of a movie! Tarantino knows cinema so intimately, he smashes a … Read More

300

Poffy The Cucumber

Body-shaved for Glory. That reminds me, I need to hit the gym. Some say 300 is as violent as Mel Gibson’s APOCALYPTO, but it’s not. 300 elevates violence to a new level – violence as art. Sure, APOCALYPTO and other movies that push the envelope on graphic pain could be construed as “art” – but only in 300 is the … Read More