SUDDENLY 2013

Poffy The Cucumber

Suddenly Unnecessarily. SUDDENLY is the 2013 remake of the 1954 Frank Sinatra film of the same name. But while the 1954 original is a treatise on guns and war and their effects on society, this 2013 remake is a moronic action movie created specifically to give erections to Republicans. Any wonder – it’s directed by Uwe “Toilet” Boll, the groovy … Read More

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STREETS OF FIRE

Poffy The Cucumber

Rock and Roll Fable Disable. Everything you know is fake. Everything you believe is wrong. STREETS OF FIRE taught me this. In one crushing swoop, everything I believed about the movie’s finale song, Dan Hartman’s I Can Dream About You, was shattered. Allow me to digress… The movie itself is an unsuccessful stab at cult musical-actioner, with comicbook visuals set … Read More

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EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS II: EDDIE LIVES!

Poffy The Cucumber

Rock And Roll IS Dead! Morose Eddie’s back! EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS II: EDDIE LIVES! finds the “legendary” (snigger) singer-songwriter of Eddie & The Cruisers, morose Eddie Wilson (Michael Pare), “in disguise” as morose Joe West, assembling another band of hokey bandguy stereotypes and thrilling us with another cache of songs which you might mistake for Macy’s muzak reel, or … Read More

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