CHAPLIN

Poffy The Cucumber

The Man, The Myth, the Trousers. Robert Downey Jr. runs around like a madman, knocks things over and falls down a lot. (Cocaine’s a helluva drug.) And in CHAPLIN, he gets to do all that without being arrested… Baron Dickie Attenborough’s CHAPLIN is a towering tribute to one of the pioneers of the motion picture industry – Charlie Chaplin, not … Read More

THE FOURTH KIND

Poffy The Cucumber

Close Encounters of the Fourth Kind: Idiocy. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. — Carl Sagan. Someone’s been reading Whitley Strieber’s Communion. And believing it. There are two kinds of hoaxes. The First Kind catches the public off guard with its ersatz authenticity (Piltdown Man, Orson Welles’s broadcast of War Of The Worlds, THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT); the Second Kind requires … Read More

A PERFECT GETAWAY

Poffy The Cucumber

Sunny, with a chance of homicide. Remember when it was cool for a movie to have a twist? Even a bad twist was a Good Thing. Then M. Night Shyamalan came along and gave us The Greatest Twist Of All in THE SIXTH SENSE… and screwed it up for everyone. “Twist” has become a bad word over the last decade, … Read More

ZOOLANDER

Poffy The Cucumber

A Stiller Thriller. Did you ever think that there was more to life than being really really really ridiculously good-looking? – Derek Zoolander. ZOOLANDER (directed by Ben Stiller, co-written by Ben Stiller, starring Ben Stiller) is Ben Stiller’s best film. Ever. Did I mention Ben Stiller? Written by Stiller, Drake Sather and John Hamburg, ZOOLANDER follows Stiller, as the eponymous … Read More

THE FIFTH ELEMENT

Poffy The Cucumber

Slammin’, Glammin’ and Hammin’. THE FIFTH ELEMENT has spawned so many negative reviews (even whilst admitting to enjoying it) that I get the feeling critics are jealous that Euros can pull off an action blockbuster with as much brainless flair as Americans – with twice the guilty pleasure. In a future society realized in eye-fatiguing detail by writer/director Luc Besson, … Read More