Sacrifice Our Rubber Souls. I cried for the moth. Then I cried for the human. Then I cried for the ROBOT! GODZILLA: TOKYO SOS is a heart-rending, dambusting actioner that turns our eyes into running rivers, as it revolves around one word: sacrifice! One year after GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA (2002), Godzilla is heading toward Tokyo again, as the military races … Read More
GODZILLA, MOTHRA AND KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
Godzilla’s Carnival of Souls. It’s what’s inside that counts. And inside Godzilla are the souls of thousands of wronged people, the Old Man telling us, “This animal contains the restless souls of countless people who perished during the battles of the Pacific conflict. It wants to attack us because the Japanese people want to forget the pain and agony they’ve … Read More
GODZILLA: THE PLANET EATER
Existential-zilla. Haunting and bombastic, touching and savage, mind-bending and monstrous, GODZILLA: THE PLANET EATER completes Toho Animation’s daring computer-animated trilogy reimagining Godzilla as destroyer, defiler and deity. As well as the rambunctious production design, evocative cartooning and chilling action sequences, PLANET EATER is a whirlwind of moral conundrums, ulterior agendas and existential magniloquence, as the twisted Cult of Ghidorah calls … Read More
GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA 1992
Guest-Starring Godzilla… Mothra battles the evil moth Battra, while Godzilla gets in the way. GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA might be construed as a rematch (after the 1964 movie of the same name), if only Godzilla knew why he was here and what he was doing, instead of wandering around like a senile old man at a retirement community. Seriously, it would … Read More
GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS 2019
A retconned Godzilla for a short attention span fandom. A Scientist is reanimating monsters (nay, “titans”) from subterranean hibernation around the globe, to bring balance to Earth’s environment through their radioactivity. (Get it? They’re being “woke” in more ways than one.) A titan named Ghidorah makes all the others do his bidding, causing them to destroy rather than renew. Too … Read More
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS
Destroy All Credibility! DESTROY ALL MONSTERS was planned as the last Godzilla film from Toho Company, which is why, we presume, legendary GOJIRA director Ishiro Honda, Just Doesn’t Give A Fuck anymore. After aliens called Kilaaks gain control of the monsters on Monster Island (translated as “Monster Land” in the English dub), forcing them to destroy Earth cities, Japanese scientists … Read More
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
Final Bores. GODZILLA: FINAL WARS – the movie where every single Godzilla enemy turns up to try out their new rubber suit design, and where each line of dialogue makes no sense in the context of the line just before it. It’s Godzilla’s 50th anniversary, his 29th film, and the 6th and final film in the Millennium series… and aliens … Read More
GHIDORAH: THE THREE HEADED MONSTER
Shooting laser beams at our balls. “The flying saucer people are obviously not going to arrive tonight.” The “Flying Saucer People”? Maybe that’s why. That’s one of the more sensible lines in GHIDORAH: THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER, another dimwitted Godzilla movie that brings together four – count ’em, four! – Japanese monsters to try and make a rip in each other’s … Read More
GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER
Godzilla as Destroyer, Godzilla as Savior, Godzilla as afterthought. Guerilla military installation on island, guarded by gigantic lobster, developing nuclear bomb, using slaves kidnapped from Mothra’s village; teens and a master thief shipwrecked, free the slaves, giant bird attack, lightning storm, nuclear explosions. Uh, and Godzilla. A Godzilla movie with an actual story! GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER boasts the … Read More
GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA
Godzilla’s Mothman Chronicles. The laugh-out-loud moment in GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA: Mothra uses his tiny little mothy feet to grab Godzilla’s tail and fly backwards, dragging Godzilla backwards along the ground, while Godzilla claws for purchase. The strength of this fluffy Lepidopteran! It’s another fine day in Tokyo, meaning it’s soon going to be raining daikaiju. (Thank you Toho Company!) A … Read More