BIRDMAN: OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE)

Poffy The Cucumber

The Birdman Flyeth Higheth. And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth. — Raymond Carver, “Late Fragment” (opening titles to BIRDMAN) BIRDMAN exists in a surreal modernism that is wholly self-aware of its connection to reality, reveling in … Read More

MOVIE 43

Poffy The Cucumber

Disgusting Inappropriate Filthy Hilarious Hellspawn Godsend. Specifically designed to make you call your Congressman and complain, MOVIE 43 will offend, distress, embarrass, infuriate, ejaculate, and give you anal warts. Not your average ensemble cast movie where everyone is trying to be more serious than their peers in order to win that Golden Globe, MOVIE 43 takes its A-Listers, jams them … Read More

FAIR GAME

Poffy The Cucumber

Weasels of Mass Distraction. Dirt piggy Karl Rove made a statement in 2003, which reporter Chris Matthews relayed to Joe Wilson: “Wilson’s wife is fair game.” FAIR GAME is the movie that tells the low down dirty story that resulted from Dirt Piggy’s threat. Sean Penn plays U.S. Ambassador Joe Wilson and Naomi Watts plays his undercover CIA wife Valerie … Read More

THE INTERNATIONAL

Poffy The Cucumber

Resistance is Futile. When one of the world’s largest international banks is discovered brokering covert arms deals with China and the Middle East… well, who’s really surprised these days? In THE INTERNATIONAL, it seems everyone is. Louis Salinger (perpetually unshaven Clive Owen) and Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts, sporting the most atrocious American accent since Gerard Depardieu) are international police who … Read More

EASTERN PROMISES

Poffy The Cucumber

Broken Promises. Child prostitution rings! Russian mob wars! Blond American chick in mortal danger from Euro assassins! Heaven forfend! Not to worry – David Cronenberg’s EASTERN PROMISES has none of these. Oh, it promises all that and more in the breathless trailers, but when we examine Steven Knight’s screenplay, we realize something director Cronenberg does not – EASTERN PROMISES makes … Read More

KING KONG 2005

Poffy The Cucumber

Yes! We Have No Bananas! Pure entertainment. Twenty-five hairy-bottomed, big-dumb-galoot feet of it. And nothing else. Despite the ubiquitous refrain of beauty and beast subtexts and alienation metaphors and caveats against taming nature, searching for deeper meaning within this wholly implausible tale will only lead to senseless cavil and being considered the big ponce for taking it so seriously in … Read More