CORALINE

Poffy The Cucumber

Alice in Wonderland meets Alice Cooper. This movie scared the pants off me. Which in turn, scared young children and women with small hips, as I walked out of the theater, pantless. With CORALINE, the MPAA once again proves how little grasp it has in correlating asinine Ratings to actual content. Even as I entered this PG-13 “3D stop-motion” animated … Read More

BEOWULF

Poffy The Cucumber

So Close… Yet So Beowulf. “I am Beowulf!” yells Beowulf. Five minutes later, he full-throats again, “I am Beowulf!” for those arriving late, we presume… Divebombing into a raging sea of serpents, sword slashing on bloodied sinew, warrior man-meat glistening with sev– “I am Beowulf!” – Okay dude, now you’re just feeding some deep-rooted insecurity complex… “Beowulf” is the oldest … Read More