ANGEL HAS FALLEN

Poffy The Cucumber

Falling down the cliché tree and hitting every branch. Secret Service agent Mike Banning, personal bodyguard and guardian angel to the American President, is framed with the attempted murder of his charge, and must go rogue to fight for his innocence. ANGEL HAS FALLEN is a cliché wrapped in a trope, candy-coated with eye-rolling stereotype… but it is – so … Read More

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THE RIDICULOUS 6

Poffy The Cucumber

Ridiculous is as Ridiculous does… It’s Sandler versus Tarantino in a battle of the adjectives. SPOILER ALERT: Tarantino wins. So you’re going to call your movie THE RIDICULOUS 6? An unsubtle spoof of the title of Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming humbucker, THE HATEFUL 8. In what universe are audiences unaware of this? It’s not even a spoof on the Tarantino movie … Read More

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PARKER

Poffy The Cucumber

Easy revenge, hard injuries. He’s Jason Statham. He beats people up. As usual. But in PARKER, what isn’t so usual is that Statham, in the title role, actually gets hurt while beating people up. Like “real life” hurt. Hurt bad. That’s the best element in this stock actioner where Mr. Statham (THE MECHANIC 2011) and director Taylor Hackford (RAY) take … Read More

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NOAH

Poffy The Cucumber

Dark Ark. Obsession! It’s not just a perfume. It’s all over the King James Bible. And for the first time, captured in a major motion picture that doesn’t paint a biblical figure like a cardboard cutout whimsically pimping himself out to God’s unholy will. On the strength of a “vision,” a guy builds a boat 300 cubits long (whatever that … Read More

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ARTHUR 2011

Poffy The Cucumber

Lost between the Moon and New York City. The only way to enjoy ARTHUR (2011), the story of an alcoholic billionaire, is to be an alcoholic billionaire yourself. That way, your brain won’t sizzle with the fury of forced relinquishment of your tax dollars to thug corporate billionaires, who rewarded themselves for crashing the economy by giving themselves bonuses with … Read More

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TROPIC THUNDER

Poffy The Cucumber

Bringing the Thunder. As gut-wrenching as APOCALYPSE, as heartfelt as RYAN, and as filthy as fuck, TROPIC THUNDER is another in the small oeuvre of Ben Stiller writer-director-actor comedies where Stiller goes “full retard” for maximum satirical jungle juice. Action movie juggernaut, Tugg Speedman (Stiller) and a platoon of spoiled-rotten actors (Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Brandon T. Jackson, Jay … Read More

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OVER THE HEDGE

Poffy The Cucumber

Die Hard With A Woodland Critter Vengeance. It is a pity that the quality of the storyline of these modern 3D animation features does not always match the level of talent that goes into their animation. OVER THE HEDGE uses the most modern computer technology to animate the most ancient of storylines: lone racketeer cons group of patsies into doing … Read More

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HULK

Poffy The Cucumber

Shrek On Steroids. Despite the disconcerting fact that the HULK does in fact look like a juiced Shrek, this is not as bad a film as its detractors would have us believe. With the masterful Ang Lee in the director’s chair, the blame for this production’s lack of luster must surely be placed on the shoulders of others. Even though … Read More

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